Saturday, March 31, 2007
yix sent this to me yesterday. I was laughing so hard, it weirded my roommate out.
2:29 AM
I'm suddenly really really incredibly worried that i won't get into the comm school... I just talked to jeanine just now to schedule an appointment to see dean leonards, but she kind of just brushed me off and told me to talk to park muth and when i insisted, she scheduled an appointment with herself instead for next wed, 1.30pm. Well. I will see park muth (reminder, email him at ppm@virginia.edu to schedule an appt) and i'll visit dean leonards during office hours in addition to talking to jeanine... Now i have to come up with appropriate questions to ask all of them so i won't be wasting their time :p
I really want to get into the comm school now... Firstly, because everyone expects me to, and not getting in would be a huge disappointment not just to myself, but to everyone else as well; And secondly, not getting in would also mean losing yi-xian. I can't lose him now! Not when i've just found him :( :( and we seem to be getting somewhere. Slowly but surely, our relationship is deepening.
It's not that i don't want to stay in SMU... i like smu. But the opportunities for life presented here seem so much more exciting than what's there for me in plain old singapore =/ my head feels squished. lol. i shall run later and not pass up this week's international trade homework :p
2:13 AM
Friday, March 30, 2007
Seriously, guys here are all the same... Kiet kept trying to kiss me while watching 'City of God' and Jimmy happily had to walk in O.o Time to stop watching movies with kiet & yix better start hanging around more to show the swedish guy that singaporean men rule.
Shucks... I even stopped watching the movie halfway but i still feel guilty! Argh. Ok. Will tell yix about this tmr (today) and he can go talk to kiet!! Although, if he says i can go kiss kiet for all he cares, i don't know what i'd do -_-
PS. i can't figure out how to work bittorrent! :( wanna d/l james morrison & james blunt... screw international trade homework.
10:24 AM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
He messaged me this morning!! :) :) :) there is hope for him/us yet... -smile-
Had money & banking test today which i did lousily in (couldn't really be bothered since its best out of 2 and i did pretty well for the first one). I'm going to sleep now... Watch out for today's newsbite and research on Iraq later!
9:28 PM
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I really really feel like an inexperienced teenager blown away by her first love. Thank goodness I'm not! Or I won't be able to handle him (or any of the other guys here trying to kiss me) at all! Its funny how there are 3 guys here (that i know of) who like me and would gladly take me, but i have to be difficult and choose the one who doesn't. Its funny how all 3 of them are jealous of my boy while he is just blithely unaware of it. Li was right... I was too easy on him so now, he's already taking me for granted.
Still... I can't help it. He has a way about him that tugs at my heart and demands that i fall for him. I trust him so much its scary... I told him last night that i found his blog with qing and asked him if he still liked her. He looked straight into my eyes and all the way into my tortured soul and told me that people say he writes well and that he wrote it better than it really was. No he does not have any more feelings for her. In fact, he feels more about me than he's felt about any other girl since he was young and foolish.
That was all he had to say and i was sold. I felt completely and utterly reassured because I trust him and I believe him. Maybe next time I might look back on myself, shake my head and call myself foolish. But for now... I am content just to be with him.
Newsbite
JERUSALEM: US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, wrapping up her Middle East peace mission, said on Tuesday that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian president Mahmud Abbas had agreed to meet every two weeks, but that the time was not ripe for final peace talks. In a sign of a possible breakthrough, Arab foreign ministers on Monday endorsed the plan, which would offer Israel recognition in return for a full withdrawal from Arab land captured in 1967, the establishment of a Palestinian state and the return of refugees.
About Israel
Overview:
Israel declared its independence in 1948. It is the world's only Jewish state with Jerusalem as the capitol and seat of government. It is also the only country in the Middle East considered a liberal democracy and is considered the most advanced state in the region.
Military:
Israel's military consists of a unified Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) and is considered one of the most battle-trained armed forces in the world. Both males & females are drafted into the army at 18 years old (males serve 3 years, females 2) with a number of exceptions.
Economy:
Imports fossil fuels, grains, beef, raw materials and military equipment. Exports diamonds, high technology, military equipment, software, pharmaceuticals, fine chemicals, and agricultural products. Twenty-four percent of Israel's workforce holds university degrees, ranking Israel third in the industrialized world after the United States and Netherlands. Israel's nominal GDP per capita, as of 28th July 2005, was $19,248 per person (30th in the world), and its GDP per capita at purchase power parity was 26, 200 (26th in the world).
There's a lot more about Israel to put down, but i'm tired now and gotta get ready for class :P Laterz...
12:21 AM
Monday, March 26, 2007
oh f*** f*** f*** f*** f***.... Why couldn't i leave well enough alone?! Why??? Why did i have to miss him so and search for his blog once more? Why did i have to READ it dammit?!
I don't even know if this is his blog alone or his blog with qing, because its all about her... all about the girl who's 90% perfect for him whom he left to come here. She whom he still chats with online, she who still holds his heart...
All i read was one and a half posts. Just that and i couldn't bring myself to go on anymore... Couldn't bear to see the depth of feeling he possessed (possesses?) for her! Blood rushed to my head and I could barely breathe. My lungs tense up, but i will not cry. I WILL NOT!! I am not jealous, really. All I am is sad... So very very sad that he will never feel that way for me. So sad that though i thought he was coming to like me, it is absolutely nothing compared to how he felt/feels for wei qing. Why? Why do i torture myself so??? I cooked dinner, waiting for his call or even an sms to tell me he was back from outfield so i could bring the food to him. Waiting... waiting... I waited until 11pm. Until i couldn't take it anymore and was beside myself with anxiety. So i messaged brendt to ask if he was back and he was... he's been back since this afternoon.
I am... not the one for him. And he is not the one for me. When i go back to singapore, i will get back together with you yi and forget all about the beautiful boy named ng yi-xian.
For now... I will immerse myself in my own activities and stay as far away as possible from Alderman dorms and his blasted big eyes.
12:19 PM
NO LOOKING FOR HIM.
I can do this... I am single and I am strong. If he wants me, he'll come to me.
Yes.
I can do this.
11:45 AM
The Situation
Jermaine (aka. Jay), head cheorographer of Mahogany, has been sitting in in all the dance practices, saying that he reserves the right to cut anyone from any dance whom he thinks cannot make it. Apparently, he says this every semester, but has never done so, until now.
Last Thursday, during Julien & Troy's practice, he called 5 people out in the middle of practice and told them that he was cutting them. All of them had made it through the auditions by Troy & Julien together with everyone else in the dance and have been practicing every Thursday for the last 2 months. Jay did this in front of everybody else and without first consulting either Troy or Julien.
The Issues
Despite being within his self-proclaimed "rights", Jermaine clearly acted in an insensitive and inconsiderate manner to everyone involved. Not only did he bypass Troy & Julien's authority, this being their own choreographed dance, he also questioned their sense of judgement in choosing these 5 to perform their dance in the first place. Furthermore, he thoroughly embarassed each of those he cut by doing so in such a public and abrupt manner; and also disrupted the entire dance by rudely removing a third of the dancers just 3 weeks before the actual performance.
What he could have done
Firstly, Troy & Julien were the first people he should have spoken to before doing anything to their dance & their dancers. He could have told them that he felt these dancers were not up to speed and suggest that they be taken out. However, the final decision should have been Troy & Julien's, not his.
Secondly, if the choreographers had chosen to keep them on, he could have suggested that extra practice be given, and perhaps give the dancers critique as well as a one week grace period to improve their performance.
And if Jay still strongly felt the need to cut the dancers immediately without consulting both Troy & Julien, he could at least have done so in a less humilitating manner for the dancers themselves and shown them some basic respect as fellow UVA students and members of Mahogany.
The Aim of the Petition
To right an injustice.
xx, xx, xx, xx & xx should be allowed to return to practice and perform if they so choose to do so.
***
Ok that's what has been on my mind since 2pm, when i heard about what happened. Jay really crossed the line by doing this. Yes, he's trying to ensure that Mahogany's performance looks as good as it possibly can, but he certainly should not have done so at the expense of Mahogany's dancers!! Helen was telling me about how good Mahogany used to be about accepting people for their love of dance rather than their actual experience, but honestly, i didn't really take what she said to heart until i heard so many people talking about it today. Mahogany was supposed to be fun! Everyone understands the need for auditions because, being part of Mahogany, we want the performance to look good too. But to bypass the choreographers authority and cut people 3 weeks before the performance after they'd been practicing for over 2 months?!? I think the only reason i (and most people, i'm sure) would accept for him cutting them is if they hadn't been going for practice & really don't know the dance or something. But the reason he gave Stella for cutting her was simply that this dance is "not her style". ?@!?##^?? if troy and julien hadn't liked her 'style', they won't have chosen her in the first place! I used to think he was cool, if anal. But i retract the cool part >.<
I want to print out the above for a petition on behalf of those dancers and get the rest of Mahogany to sign it. But apparently there have been a lot of politics going on and i want to do it in a way that won't offend any of them either. Like i said, this is to correct an injustice. Perhaps i should email Jay first, get his side of the story and warn him of what i'm gonna do so as to give him a chance to 'do the right thing' before i start the petition? After all, i'm only going to be here for this semester so I don't have anything to lose right?
And before you ask, yes, i would give up my place to perform for the 5 to do so.
3:56 AM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
I went to watch an a cappella concert with Guan Ming tonight... It took place in a small room in Newcomb and gm & i were the only ones in the audience not somehow related to any of the performers. Hm. I guess it wasn't too bad... they just need to learn how to harmonize properly, seriously :p other than that, it was a relaxing hour with 'free' cookies & soda :) Am currently helping gm with his intermediate microecons hw. Thankfully i can still rmbr a LITTLE bit!
This week
Tonight: Salsa party at Spanish House
Tmr: Church (Trinity) in the morning, Mahogany in the afternoon, cook dinner at night
Mon: Mahogany at night followed by gym then movie with Kiet (Econ421 proposal due)
Tue: STUDY!
Wed: regular wed dinner
Thurs: Bible study followed by club clemons (I really wanna go climbing though)
Friday: CCF large group meeting (Econ421 PS3.5 due)
Sat: 10 mile run (pace Shu En from 2nd mile onwards), Bak Kut The party at night (help Cecil cook)
9:11 AM
Argh!! I missed hiking!!!!! I can't believe i overslept! How can my alarm clock not have rung?!! :( :( :( i really wanted to do something with the outdoors club.... :(
Sigh. Oh well, i ended up playing badminton instead at Slaughter gym (i still think that name's amusing) and i realise i can still play, albeit very badly :p I guess i'll try to go regularly for this. They have it every friday, 7-9pm (i think) and saturdays, 11-1pm. Thereafter i decided to go for a run just to get rid of excess energy, so went back to the AFC, did a mile or so and saw Cecil playing basketball. Cecil's a pretty cool guy! I think he's (1) very intelligent - SIA scholar (2) damn buffed - topped OCS (3) really really nice :)
So i had lunch with him and some of his dorm people. We barbequed our own (very unhealthy) hamburger patties & made hamburgers for ourselves! Haha. I must say that that was the best tasting meal I've ever barbequed! Barbequing during chalets in Singapore result most often in buttery sausages, corn wrapped in aluminium foil and chicken wings/drumlets that take AGES to cook :p
Well, over lunch we had a very interesting conversation about religion. He, like Yi-Xian, is a monotheist freethinker. So although he's been to church before, he tells me that he has yet to take that 'leap of faith' into Christianity (or whatever other religion). Naturally, I invited him to come to church with me in Singapore, although I think I should try to bring him to one here, once I settle down in one myself. Anyway, he said that he feels that every monotheistic religion is probably worshipping the same God, just in different ways. I think it could be true, in a way, and thence proposed to him what i learned in personality psych about Carl Jung and his theory of Collective Unconscious. Jung posits that every human being has a part of the unconscious mind common to everyone else. This unconscious contains archetypes that are sort of symbols that are manifested by all people in all cultures and exists prior to experience. It can therefore be said to be somewhat instinctual (think Clan of the Cave Bear). So I feel that every human knows innately that God exists and religion is simply a human structure in response to His existence.
The one thing that differentiates Christianity, however, is Christ. The Son of God, the Son of Man, the Saviour, Redeemer & the Lamb. Christianity advocates that Jesus is "the way, the truth and the life" He himself said that "No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6). So although Christians believe in the Holy Trinity, it is undoubtedly a monotheistic religion, where the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are one God and each is merely a different form of the same thing (like ice cubes, water & water vapour). So even though Judaism, Islam etc are also monotheistic and in fact, share similar history and teachings as the Bible, they are still not saved, because they are not acknowledging God in His entirety. That was what Erin and I were talking about when i came back...
So Cecil's theory is that it doesn't matter which religion you choose. And that its what experiences you've had in your life that influences which religion you ultimately follow. But, as I've explained above. I really feel that it matters! So i need to work harder to save all my friends *hugs them* As with all humans, though, there is always the sense that we do not know everything and that nagging thought "perhaps we're wrong...?" This brought to mind one of the "if" questions that Li and i used to talk about a long time ago: "If you could ask God one thing, what would it be?" To which her sage answer was, "I'd ask him which is the 'right' religion" so that everyone can be saved and there'd be no need for religious wars and confusion etc. Still, i guess we're not meant to know the answer or He'd have told us already right? So life = dealing with imperfect knowledge and doing the best we can given our lot on Earth.
Today's newsbite
Heavy casualties in Sri Lanka amid fighting between the Government and the rebel Tamil Tiger forces as they were engaged in combat along the de facto border in the Vavuniya district.
History:
Tamil Tigers = Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) are a rebel group who have been waging a 35-year campaign (since the 1970s) for an independent homeland for Sri Lanka's 12.5 percent Tamil minority in this majority Buddhist nation of 19.5 million people. They seek to secure a separate state in the Tamil majority regions to the North & East of Sri Lanka. However, they are also listed as a terrorist organisation by 32 countries & was founded by Velupillai Prabhakaran who is wanted by Interpol for terrorism, murder, organized crime and terrorism conspiracy.
More than 4,000 people have been killed in a new wave of fighting in Sri Lanka since December 2005, despite there being a truce in place since February 2002.
4:39 AM