Saturday, November 08, 2003
okay, it's been a lonnnnnnng time since i've blogged :P
everyone, DON'T read this. i'm whining... really, you don't want to read it ;) and i don't want u to read it. so don't read it. please :)
i'm such a pathetic loser... how can i be in seasports club and get seasick?!?! the stupid name speaks for itself. SEAsports club. really, i totally suck. we did some cip thinngy today... helping the osim triathalon ppl n making sure they don't drown or whatever. in the end, i was the only idiot who had to get towed back to big splash..! alvin was seasick too, so why couldn't i go on? why can't i just lift the paddle, dig it into the water n move~! i'd get there eventually rite?? wrong. i had to let down my team-mates AND my school (coz the hwa chongists were there as well and none of them got seasick!!) by getting seasick n getting towed back... i'm such a disappointment. what am i even doing in SEAsports club anyway when i get seasick?! it totally defeats everything i'm trying to achieve right? i should have just listened to mummy n changed cca "but then i won't know eesang n yeeyen n andee n tracy n all my dearest ssc peepz..." :( :( :( -so what? if i really cared abt them i wld drop out n not drag them down by being such a jerk and a loser coz they're too nice to say so... "but i love the club... i love the sea.. i love being at pc n smelling the salt air and the feeling breeze swirling from the ocean..." argh. i hate talking to myself... it goes nowhere anyway! *whiner!* stupid ass... aniwae, i'm feeling better abt tt so forgeddit! just BRING SEASICK PILLS NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blah!
change of topic.
guys. one reason why i miss rgs SO MUCH is because there weren't any guys there!! not that i don't like guys or anything, they can be really fun, but some of them r just a bother! i mean, i never got headaches before i went to jc... this year, i got three!!! okay, so i can't totally blame guys for that, but they definitely contributed to that!! bllllleaaaaahhhhhhhh....... why is it that most of them seem to want something from u???? why can't we just remain nice, PLATONIC friends??!?!? i wish some of them wld just be able to differentiate between attaining a higher level of friendship and trust, from actually falling for someone! it's not love.... none of this is. :( i really don't know what to do with some of them!! i don't want to reject them, bcoz my perception of our relationship is merely that of friendship, and how can i reject a friend? but i know that THEY see it as more n if i were to reject them, we won't be friends anymore, but if i accept, they'll take it to mean something more... which it's NOT!!!!! SIGH... i really just get so frustrated sometimes... whywhywhywhywhy?!?!?!?!? ARGHZ!!!!!!!!!! *whacks something* [btw, ong bak rocks!!!! *beeg gRinZ*] so. take mr.she for example. he said i promised to watch the matrix with him... which i DIDN'T! i said i MAY watch it with him... m-a-y, MAY! but noooooooo... he says i pROmIsEd and when i got seasick today, i really din feel like going out so i told him so. now he tells me i owe him TWO movies!! since when do i OWE him anything>!?!?!?!? grrrrrr..... irritating...!! and everybody out there: I AM NOT ATTACHED TO ERNEST!!!!!!!!! ya hear?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!?!?!? i am not! i am my own person and we are just friends so what if i'm 'seen' with him/!?!? i can't study with my friends meh? i can't talk/walk with them meh?!?!? blah! idiot. him too, but he's less pushy about it and i don't know if that irritates me more or less... *hmpf!* den there's gavin... i barely know him!! he hasn't contacted me for one whole dem month den suddenly wham i get this msg saying what?! he's been doing alot of thinking and his feeling for me is true and let me give him a chance to give me happiness..??????????? wth?!?!?!?!?! u don't know me!!! how can u pOsSIbLy fall for me when u don't even KNOW who i am?!?!?!?! bah!!!!! it's sweet and all, but really, be more constant? u chased eesang before me and said you'd wait for her...? den weeks later u start to chase me?!? please lah, i'm not stupid! okay.. perhaps i give u the benefit of doubt n u really thought u liked her n now u really think u like me... but that's just immature! don't say stuff u don't mean... maybe u THINK u mean it but i feel u oughta grow up a little...
who do i know whom i KNOW don't want something from me...?? i can count them on one hand i think: junping, andee, nizam... who else? blah, can't be bothered!! watever, i don't care, going to eat dinner now... another time.
okies, i'm done whining :)
ONG BAK ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *beeg hUmONgOUs GRIN* :D :D :D :D :D muahahahahahahahahaha and THE LORD OF THE RINGS IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes. those are my parting messages for today. nitez!
7:57 PM