Friday, June 20, 2003
zzz... 9am... woke up an hour ago coz my parents wanted to take mi to e doc... quite stupid. i was sick 3days ago. they're quite slow. now even my cold is gone :P sighz. wake up for nothing... i'm gonna go back to sleep.
bleah. i was in too much turmoil e previous entry to write abt e ssc chalet :P n i'm too stone to write much abt it now. been waiting for ee sang n andee to update theirs but i think both of them too tired as well... haha... it was very funnee. esp cheng yu. cheng yu is VERY funneee... lol. him n his "you all are bloody stupid, keep insisting that i'm drunk. I'M NOT DRUNK!!!" lol... obviously, u can see by tt sentence that he was drunk... ;) haha. lotz of stuff happened. bbq was fun... i was trying my best to be e official 'fan'... kept fanning e fire n being suan-ed for fanning for nothing :P haha... ee kai's attached, terence's a mystery... cheng yu's a chicken... lol. we had so much fun at escape e next day. it wasn't e rides, but e company :) :) :) hahaha, i still think he's so funny. i was laughing so hard during e viking i couldn't even try to scream. cheng yu was like sitting next to mi n going "my dick is flying off!!" which went downhill fast to "my dick is gone!!!" hahahahaha LOL =) chao funny... :) :)
mi, yeeyen, andee n theresa stayed up e whole nite playing mahjong -gRInz- i won quite a lot k... esp nearing dawn, coz i think e others were concussing but i was just stone :P stopped playing as e others started waking up. hah. e three of them went to sleep while e rest went out for breakfast, but i couldn't coz a) i wasn't sleepy animore n b) they kept banging on e door to come in... :P den ee sang, ee kai, caifong, cheng yu n i went swimming :) that was fun too... wah liao. caifong's swimming soooo ZAI!!!! he was teaching mi how to butterfly... needless to say i quite sucked at it... used up lots of energy without going forward... (how??)... his butterfly was like... 3 strokes took him a third of e way across e length of e pool... wow.... n found out later (fr ernie) tt he was 3rd national for some event or other... impressive :P n cheng yu still so funny. haha... dun think he was drunk, juz normal, but that's drunk enuff for anyone ;) hahaha, teach him not to bully a zai swimmer in e pool -grinz at cf- };] fffunnneeeeeee :) :) :) yesh... mi calf got cramp... den cf tried to massage it n look pro n help... i think he did think he was helping, but yesterday my calf was all stiff, could barely walk n had to hop down e stairs :P today still aching... haiz.
this was meant to be a short entry... :P bleah... okay, last thing. caifong n ee sang were studying together at heartland mall last night!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha *bEeG gRINZ* :D :D :D i called up ee sang to find out what happened e 2nd nite, when onli kenneth, ee kai, her n cf stayed over... apparently dey juz went back to escape to play go-kart :) n they slept aft tt with kenneth on e floor n ee sang btwn caifong n eekai on e bed ;) heehee... AND SHE WAS STUDYING WITH HIM LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha~ this is hilarious... it was like 9.30pm when i called her... lol lol lol... wah liao... idiot caifong... why doesn't he just make up his mind!!??!!?! he's waayyy more sensitive n v.good at reading e currents arnd him, but he seems rather practised at not seeing what he doesn't want to see. seriously, he won't noe a fly if it bit him on e nose!! :)
aiyah... i wanna go back to sleep now :P morning~
9:25 AM
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
i have hereby arrived home after getting off e taxi shared with alvin tan, yee yen n cheng yu (who r going to bishan). i am extremely extremely EXTREMELY anxious due to a recent discovery that PEOPLE READ MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!! when i say people, i mean people oTHer~ than liyana, andee n daniel who are the ONLY people i've ever told my blog to!!
THIS IS A MESSAGE TO YOU PEOPLE READING MY BLOG:please please please TAG in my tagboard... it's there so i can communicate with those ppl reading my blog n so i'll know exactly WHO 'those ppl' are~!!! PLEASE people... *anguished* PLEASE let me know who you are... i won't do anything, seriously, i just need to know who exactly have access to my private thoughts n feelings... i KNOW i know you, so just tell me who you are so i'll know who exactly knows what and well, everything!!!!!!! if i don't find out, i'd probably abandon this blog which would be SAD but NECESSARY as my diary is not meant to be read by just anyone!!
tortured anguished worried anxious distressed agonised...
i have also deleted all e links fr my page to other blogs (except li's) coz dear alvin tan was sharing with me how people can actually track down blogs using some tracking devise thinggy which can see whose blogs are linked to yours. so hopefully, few links equals lower probability of trackers :P
this sux...
8:36 PM
Monday, June 16, 2003
going for chalet tmr... sigh, i miss vic... hope she's having lotsa fun in e US... sometimes, i wish i could turn back time, go back to sec4 rgs. i miss all of us... sigh *melancholy* wish we could have all gone together... we'd rule :P
what is time anyway? where does the past go after it passes?
11:02 PM
good morning me... and whoever's reading my blog... *yawn*... i'm not a *yawn* morning *yawn* person... haven't been arnd the whole weekend though, so i got alotta stuff to update this thing on... forgive me if i sound less than enthusiastic. i'm still in my pajamas, n its drizzling outside, the perfect weather for sleeping... sighz...
okies... i might as well start fr e topic dat fits my not-so-upbeat mood... right. talked to ernie last night n sorted things out. more or less. haiz... i'm such a shithead. i started e conversation trying to sound normal, but he didn't, he already sounded apprehensive, n asked mi what it was i wanted to tell him. so i told him that he meant a lot to me, juz.. not in the way he wanted it to *thanks li for this* i thought for a moment tt he might cry... *i feel my heart bleeding* he certainly sounded tt way. he persisted, saying he was sorry for tt night, n he wanted mi to forget what he said then coz he'd been taking things too fast so now he'll take things slower. i hated myself for saying this but i had to. i had to. giving him false hope would be subjecting him to slow torture *my soul cries out in wordless agony* so i made it clear... i made it clear i wanted our friendship to remain as friendship. JUST friendship without taking it another step further. ever...
... i wonder if i've just made the biggest mistake of my life... will i look back on this day 10yrs in the future, lonely, unwanted... finally seeing things the way i never could now... aching, wishing i were with him...?
ah but the glories of hindsight leaves much to be desired.
it has happened.
i can't change it.
we can only move forward.
whatever happens, will happen.
n that's that!
btw. forget all tt blabbering i did abt 'still' liking cf, i don't like him tt way n i'm juz being posessive :P (i'm posessive of u too li~) met his family though (including all e extended aunties n uncles) coz they were having a picnic on sat. they all thot i was his gf but i set them straight ;P
on to cheerier stuff... [don't even think i'm awake/happy now...]
LOTR WON A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF AT MTV AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gRinZ gRinZ gRinZ* including BEST ON SCREEN TEAM (frodo, sam n gollum), BEST COMPUTER GENERATED CREATURE (gollum n i'm not sure if i got e award rite but u get d picture..), and........ *drumroll* BEST MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeal scream shriek screech* *hugs li, delia n all the super lotr fans* *dances around in uplifted ecstacy* last night at least... however, colin farrell beat legolassy for best new transatlantic face (something like tt)... i TOLD her he would ;) n emimnem beat aragorn *fans herself n sighs dreamily* for e best actor award... i told her he would too :P however much i'd like viggo mortenson to win, emimnem was good =)
oh and the weekend was absolutely SUPERB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *even BIGgER gRinZ* :D :D :D :D :D :D we had e canoepolo competitions (our first!! :D) at pc fr sat afternoon to sun morning~ *whew!* hahaha!! it was totally AWESOME! (ugh, tt sounded like some hung up american junkie :P no offense) i'm sooo PROUD of our guys!!!!!!!! *big beeeggg BIG hApPy gRinZ* =D they played like pros i tell you... e other participating schools (who have all trained for at LEAST a year) were shocked when they found out we've only started 3mths ago!! :P -smile smile smile smilez- i am just so proud of them, esp cai fong, who WON THE MEN'S LONG-SHOT COMPETITIONS~!!!!!!!!!! *jumps leaps n prances across the universe in delight* hahahahahaha! cheng was shocked man!! and cf being the 'still waters run deep' guy he is, never gloated or even mentioned it!! abiel was the one who told mi when i arrived back the next morning =D =D =D also heard abt andee's amazing triple roll, where he got pushed, lost e ball, rolled, gained e ball, threw n rolled again~ *blinks in wonder* alvin too, he played all e games except one coz he's our fantastic keeper :D n abiel n chengyu are so on!! abiel's e most agressive of e guys... he really plays like those pros :D :D wah liao, they improved SOOOO MUCH!!! by next year they'll give white (e national team) a TOUGH fight!!!!!! *happy joyous gRinZ* =D have i said how proud of them i am??? ;P *loves all e ssc guys to bits!*
yeah girls!! i didn't see e midnight matches, but according to cheng, we improved a lot too!!!! :D (or at least, u gals did since i wasn't there) ;p n yippee for our new trainer vivian fr nus!!! :D haha! we shall beat TP next month k..? ;) lol.
i love sea sports club...
9:40 AM