Monday, February 21, 2005

I'm unhappy...
like really really sad.
I don't want to be here anymore. I knew 6 months would be a bad idea.
I hate it.
I hate it when people ask me "oh, how did you get in?" in that i-know-you-can't-have-gotten-in-otherwise kind of voice. Esp ppl like this woman, who was all sugary before I intro-ed myself as an intern, after which she only deigned to ask me that one question before totally dismissing and ignoring me... i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.
When I never know whether ppl are nice to me because of ME or just because they want to curry favour with my aunt... I know evange is not, or faizah or huili or tricia or juliana, but i really don't know with the rest. I REALLY hate it!! Esp when my own mum assumes that ppl simply tolerate me because of that.
I truly didn't want to take up this job because I knew that this is precisely what would happen. More, the reason why I don't want to go to China is because I know it'd be even worse there! At least in Singapore I can blend in somewhat and pretend sometimes that i'm a regular employee. There, I'd stick out like a sore thumb with flashing neonlights above my head that scream "I'm the CEO's niece!" so they'd prob be nice on the surface but inwardly disdainful. And my sucky chinese won't help matters either.
I don't care if my record doesn't look as good with the word *internship* on it. I don't care if future employers will be soOo impressed that I've interned in Shang-hai. I DON'T CARE!
If I had gotten into a regular job myself, even as a temp (which i have no doubt that i'd have been able to do), I would have LOVED for the opportunity to go China! Seriously, it would have been a once in a lifetime opportunity and a splendid experience!! But not like this...
Not like this.

I hope I wouldn't meet such high-handed and superclious ppl when I leave for consumer banking... and i'm not sure now if i want to go to GM for a time under the economists. that would mean joseph tan... He seems nice... outwardly. or maybe just bootlicking. I can't be sure and I don't particularly want a chance to confirm if my first impressions are correct.

damn this sucks.

12:30 PM

oh stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!
C'EST TRES STUPID!
you know what's stupidest about it?
i don't know who i'm scolding!
Probably myself.
or everyone.
the world.
stupid

9:34 AM

Cheryl Kong

SNGPS/RGS/RJC/SMU/UVA

~*dancer*lover*dreamer*~




1. Go on exchange
2. Transfer to UVA
3. Visit the SPCA here at c'ville
4. Skydive & Whitewater raft
5. READ THE PAPERS DAILY!

• my sister
  
• my best friend
  
• my captain
  
  
• Channel News Asia
  
• Wall Street Journal
  
• Forbes
  
  
• Wikipedia
  

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