Saturday, September 27, 2003
Just reading newsweek in a desperate bid to improve my english as well as my general knowledge on global affairs :P can't believe the words that i came across...
words i'm clueless about:
schadenfreude - n. pleasure derived from the misfortune of others
n. malicious satisfaction
egalitarian - adj. Affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people.
n. a person who believes in the equality of all people.
dyspraxia - Impaired or painful function of any organ of the body.
plenum
- an assembly or meeting with all members present
- a condition, space, or enclosure in which air or other gas is at a pressure greater than that of the outside atmosphere.
- a condition of being full; fullness.
- a space completely filled with matter. (as opposed to vacuum)
words i've come across but am unfamiliar with
denouement n.
1. a) The final resolution or clarification of a dramatic or narrative plot.
b) The events following the climax of a drama or novel in which such a resolution or clarification takes place.
2. The outcome of a sequence of events; the end result.
paradigm n.
- one that serves as a pattern or model.
- a set or list of all the inflectional forms of a word or of one of its grammatical categories (eg. the paradigm of an irregular verb)
-* a set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline.
draconian - adj. exceedingly harsh; very severe
(eg. a draconian legal code; draconian budget cuts.)
euphemism - n. substituting a mild, indirect, vague term for one that is considered offensive.
(eg. 'passed away' is a euphemism for 'death')
hmm~
serious chasers...
1. certified mentally unstable
2. guided by a dream
3. for the sake of flirting
4. as a second fiddle
11:50 PM
i just realised i only have two more weeks to promos. sigh... dunno how i'm gonna study my lit :(
9:58 PM
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
sigh...
i am altogether tired and weary in the extreme right now... tired as in i can't imagine going to school tomorrow. tired as in i can't face the crowds. tired as in all i want to do is sit another the wonder of the stars. tired as in all i want to feel is the coolness of the breeze and the silent melancholy of the night.
spent the whole afternoon doing gp. as i am too tired to get angry, i shall not elaborate. *feel my thorough disgust*
it has been a measure of a miserable day... the whole morning i was so worried i lost control of my tears... scared theresa half to death i think =p well it didn't progress much, having fallen to so pathetic a state as to being scolded by the school cleaner for not being able to control my spasmic bowels.
sigh...
8:45 PM
incensed
I have never endeavored to hate someone before, but pk tries me to my utmost. To stand him for another year would be beyond the realm of the Unbearable and across an ocean of Misery.
For the better part of the year, i wondered, in my naivety, why the class disliked him so. That knowledge hath since trickled incrementally to enlighten me, culminating in my, as of now, intense distaste for his so Utterly Despicable.
I beg to be sent away but despair in its futility.
1:21 PM
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
i had the strangest dream just now... i'll try to tell it in chronological order..
the scene began somewhat half in sch and half out of it. there was some competition going on *think 'singapore's brainiest kid'* and ernest was standing on one of those thinggies as well as *vaguely* other people and strangely, ying heng... i left the LT/competition arena and ended up in the canteen (which seemed abnormally large), where i was strolling aimlessly around and checking out ppl selling stuff at the back of the canteen, some of which looked suspiciously like the artwork outside the artroom (in particular, the curvy orangy-red one which marie-anne remarked might fall to pieces should we touch it).
next thing i knew, i was talking to ying heng n he kept giving those meaningful glances over my shoulder :p exasperated, i finally turned n saw tt ernest was behind a way with a group of friends (he hadn't noticed me). naturally, as anything is natural in a dream, ying heng was no longer there when i turned back. awkwardly, i walked around a little, shy maybe? not being able to stand it any longer, i went up the spiral staircase (the one in the concourse, if i may be so bold as to call it spiral) and found some strange sights above.
in recollection, there were people about... those in rj uniform and those not in uni but in strangely 'water-coloured' clothes of lighter shades of blue, orange, pink, purple, yellow etc. all melded and swirled into one. curiously enough, all seemed to be in possesion of a watergun =P somehow or other, i obtained a gun fr one of the 'rj-uniformed' kids (at which point i came to notice tt i was in uniform as well), n ascended the stairs 'FBI-style'. Which is to say, clutching the watergun with both hands, arms close to my chest and swinging it around when i turn the corner to aim at potential "enemies"... lol.
The rest of it went by pretty quickly, with white&green ppl walking past me with one or more 'palette' ppl in tow or vice versa... by this time my dreaming mind was going "oh this is a game n i'm on e rj side" even while my dreaming self was in an inordinate state of agitation and nervously squirting at passing players (whether or not they were on my side n b4 i cld tell if they'd been 'captured' or not). I might as well make mention of the hall, which as cordoned off by raffia string, the destination towards which all the captors and captives seemed to be heading. Inside was just a blur of white, green and multi-coloured people (to my dream self at any rate) where i suppose some sort of game was taking place :p
anyway, the whole of it was more or less suffused with this vague impression of ernest looking for me and i, drifting purposelessly... it ended with me being chased by abt 10ppl (strangely a mix of both sides) shooting water at me and i knowing i was soaked without even the slightest sensation of being wet...
bizarre... but it is a dream after all and dreams will be dreams :)
haven't heard/spoken/seen ernest in a lloonnnnnnnngggggggg time though... remind me not to eat mee siam before going to sleep ;p lol.
"Dreams give us permission to deeply experience our feelings by providing images and situations that evoke these feelings. In our dreams it seems as if the images and situations give rise to the feelings, but, in fact, it is the feelings that give rise to the images and situations."
-- L. Sarasohn
so i'm feeling........... nervous? stressed? where in the world does mr.E come in?!?!?! =P
or maybe...
"Who so regardeth dreams is like him that catcheth at a shadow, and followeth after the wind.
[Ecclesiasticus 34:2]"
so i shouldn't think abt it too much since it's not real anyway...? ?:p
Ah welll...... Here's an "if" question!
"If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?"
-- Thomas Lovell Beddoes
i'd buy the widest expanse of my imagination and dream that which i cannot living be...
6:43 PM
sigghhhh...........
Andre Bocelli's music does wonders for my soul... beautiful, masterful...
i'm not angry any more...
disrespect, yes. scorn, yes. contempt, without doubt.
angry? not really...
hmm, even my headache's gone :p he helped too i suppose...
i'm feeling somewhat distressed... m becoming more and more of a cynic everyday :( don't trust guys anymore...
*sads*
12:34 AM
Monday, September 22, 2003
I'm pissed. Yes, pissed. And you know who pissed me off?? Don't bother... who else?!?!
Call me angry, call me mad. whatever!
She is my sister and he is my friend. it is absolutely NONE of your business so keep your sneaking nose out of it!!
And the worst part is, i know you were listening outside my door.
How underhanded, base and contemptible can you possibly get!???!?
D
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10:35 PM