Saturday, July 19, 2003
i try and i try and i try....... and i cry.
9:58 PM
Friday, July 18, 2003
OMG!!! You won't BELIEVE what happened today...!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely positively completely utterly entirely STUNNED! seriously~!! Jason (tux) called my hp when i was waiting for aunty khan yoke to pick mi up (arnd 5+) and asked if i was free tonight to go to a concert with him at the Esplanade...! okay, forget stunned... call me shocked!! I totally did NOT see this coming.............. :P
11:01 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2003
to nizam...
We all live in our individual spheres of life. Imagine… floating weightlessly in the middle of a large bubble, a bubble with unbreakable glass walls, so fragile yet so strong. Each of us with a circle of space we call our own.
Envision the universe as an Ocean, where each of our individual spheres are like bubbles in the water. At times there are a whole crowd of bubbles gathered together and we are in the midst of it. And each bubble is a person’s individual space. In times like these, we may feel hemmed in and confined by the throng of people around us. So we shrink within ourselves, within our sphere and put as much distance as possible between overwhelming presence of the bubbles around us and ourselves.
Other times, souls so akin to ours draw near. And we reach out to the comforting forms around us, creating our own little cluster of bubbles that float up together and break the surface of the waters, revelling the warmth and sunshine we find as one.
Inevitably though, bubbles would drift apart, forced by the current and the waves, each delicate sphere driven in varying directions by the fickle Winds of Fate. At times like these, when pressure has pushed apart the friends whom we had floated with, our little sphere, so frail and insignificant, would once more sink into the impenetrable depths of the sea. And Loneliness would confront us, taunt us, tease us, our desperate friend and unwanted companion. The darkness presses in on us, awesome and devastating; causing us, in our isolated misery, to cower and shrivel into our spheres, tiny and forlorn in the Ocean of water, of bubbles… Alone.
Sometimes, a bubble would come along, searching for us, or maybe drawn by us, a tiny ring of hope and life that pulls us through, reaching into our bubble of loneliness, and filling it with their presence. Clutching this tenuous aura that supports us, once more, we wake from the bitterness within, watered and blooming, we rise, ever so slowly, radiant, to the surface once more.
Not always though, are we so fortunate to drift into the friendship of one such. More often than not, blackness would surround us and threaten our demise. But in most of us, the strength of heart is stronger than we think. Almost giving up, giving in, to the yawning bleakness of being alone, we would stir from the ashes of Desolation, an infinitesimal ember of survival that refuses to die out, our spirit would revive gradually and expand, widening the confines of our circle and pushing back the intimidating murkiness we had sunk into, floating gently back into the soothing tenderness of the sunshine.
Still alone, we nevertheless gaze humbly at the breathtaking expanse of Ocean around us, cradling us lovingly in Her swells, thankful for our very existence, for that mere moment in time calm and accepting, suspended in our memories.
5:33 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
LOVE is your chinese symbol!
What Chinese Symbol Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
2:00 PM
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
i suck.
life sucks.
chinese orals sucked.
what a sucker...
(i'm practising my grammer ;)
feeling betta after my shower... fresher and more able to grapple with the unending struggle i face day after day... yeah well, the god of irony must be laughing his arse off at me right now... hope he's having fun. :p
whatever~
8:48 PM
I'm scared...
I feel a sense of doom encrouching upon me. And every step I take condemns me further, drawing me inevitably closer to my impending demise... A yawning chasm stretched like a ravanous tarantula lies in my path, waiting... And I see it not, unknowing, unaware, just chocked by an overwhelming flood of misery, stepping unwittingly to mine own end.
I fear my fate...
The desolation eats me from withing, gnawing relentlessly at my spirit, my very essence, it consumes me. And I quail at the looming terror that lives off me, sucking up all happiness and goodness that may have been... Anguish at the weakness and sin steming from the depths of my soul, for it is me, and i am it.
There is no way out for one such as I. And I let go, I fall and I sink... Mired in the depression of my existance.
call from beyond
far from my reach,
oceans apart
I do beseech,
[chorus]
don't talk to me
don't call my name
don't stay no more
don't feel my pain
I see you now,
inseperable
my heart my pain
Just...
[chorus]
for,
you torture me with your presence,
so tempting, unattainable
[chorus] x2
don't feel my pain
don't feel my pain...
1:48 PM
Monday, July 14, 2003
oh no...
I just watched the video of the RJ teacher ripping up de PRC student's essay. It's very... disturbing. Really, watching an actual vIdEo of a teacher ragging a student makes me uncomfortable, particularly at the end of the video, when i heard a low, victorious 'yes!' presumably uttered by the male student who taped this disquieting episode of another's loss of control. :(
okay, there are two issues to this video. Firstly, the issue of the teacher tearing up her student's homework and flinging insults to his face. Secondly, the issue of whether this video should have been filmed in the first place.
Let me consider both the sides of the teacher, as well as that of the student concerning the first issue:
student
- teacher should not have torn up his h/w. no matter how badly done it was, any piece of work belongs to the author and should not be descrated by anyone, even a person in authority.
- How can teachers insult students? ["you're a sly, crafty old rat. Aren't you?"~teacher insults student and calls it "using the literary language from my training as a literature student"]
teachers are supposed to be the role model, the exemplary figure each student is molded into. Viewing that, teachers cannot be rude if they expect their students to treat them politely and with respect.
- the student in question is a scholar fr e Peoples Republic of China. It stands to reason that his literary skills would be weaker than those of his fellow students. Still, it seems that he tried to complete the essay, going so far as to refer to a book ["this article was taken from this book. so you expect me to buy the book just to mark your work?!"~teacher] in order to hand in this piece of work. He even attends remedials and said he would turn over a new leaf (supposing he was a "tardy" student as the teacher claims), ["oh miss ho i'm going to be a good gp student"~teacher mocking student's words]. teacher also pointed her finger at him and told him to "shut up" when he tried to explain.
- calls the articles the student chose to use "all about weirdos, all about all sorts of.. you know, anti-establishment, timely(?) i would say, unhealthy topics", saying she does not want to read "back-dated essays of weirdos and eccentrics".
'do you feel the death of strangers', 'the joy of men', 'of poor mens' revenge', 'the need for new lists'... these were the titles of the essays written by the student within a time frame of one and a half weeks. A terrible thing, for the student to have put in so much effort, only to have his hard work looked down upon, ruthlessly critized, torn apart and referred to as "crap" by his teacher. *shakes head sadly*
I can hereby conclude that the teacher was unnecessarily rude, unreasonable, demanding and on the whole, a bad example of a Teacher.
teacher
[wait, i'm tired of writing, gonna eat dinner now :P continue later...]
9:03 PM
okay ee sang... OKAY. I'm blogging :P
Haven't blogged much lately, nothing much to say. Yeah, if you ain't got nothing good to say, den don't say nothing~! *texas drawl* ;) hmm. i'm feeling better. yesh. but i still don't have much to say :P lol... fine, i shall talk about saturday.
Saturday was FREEZING!! haha, we (ssc) went down to ngee ann poly to play with e np peepz :) and i luurveee their pool :D :D :D *gRInZ* it's wonderfully fresh and clean, the pRoPeR` size for canoepolo and a beautifully welcome change from the disgusting, green, chlorine-chocked pool at Big Splash ;P [n cf was washing his mouth in it. ugh. lol ;) ]
games weren't too bad... as in we didn't get TRASHED =) and i the girls there are awesome! they're rated triple-F: Fun, Friendly n Funky~!! *gRInZ* so funny (another F ;p)... they were cheering for OUR guys when we played against them. Ain't that great team spirit??? :D i'm rather pleasantly suprised. hmm, i find they're more outgoing and open than e girls from singapore poly, although i shan't judge since i don't know as many sp gals :P
and their boats were leaky. what fortunate souls they are!! they get sponsered (leaky) daggers of e vampire brand ;) haha, betta den us poor ol things who get nothing :P *sobs* lol... i was using wei yong's mega though, n i love it!! :D :D i wanna boat! and i wanna paddle! hmm.. vampire/mega and double-dutch mebbe :)
yeah yeah... dream on myself, dream on... ;p
1:52 PM