Friday, April 22, 2005
ooooOOOO!!!!! I love my new template!!! It's soooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!! :D :D :D :D :D
My tagboard's up now... But i can't get the comments to work!
Yay i haven't fallen asleep ONCE today, thanks to blogger and surfing!! *GO ME!* And there's salsa tonighT!!!!!! *crazy jig* Jitterbugs' Fiesta rocks my world! Think *highlight of the week* YAY! Annnddd.... *drumroll* Eddie'll be there!! That's it man, i'm running away to hide. haha! just kidding....... i hope adeline goes! she didn't for the past 2 fridays and i REALLY miss watching her and luther dance!! They're absolutely amazing!! So sexy, so in sync and so obviously a couple! So there is such a thing as The One after all.. :) *grinz*
yayyayyayyayyay
I'm getting quite incoherent!! Haha! Loooooveeeeeeeeeeeee *HUGS*
I think that's my signal to go now... *waves happily, curtsies a few times and blows kisses into the air*
BYyEee!
12:47 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Whoa guess what! I was surfing blogs and found the blog of this other girl whom i've seen at Jitters!! I can't believe she's only 17!!! (fr scgs btw, gotta ask delia if she knows her) I feel oollllddddddddddd.... *blinks rheumy eyes and gropes around for my walking stick* Her nick is sfee (surname chen) and she takes wonderful photos!!! Kenneth! Teach me how to take proper pictures!!!!!
What I'm wondering now is, if she's so young, how old are the rest of them then??? (the rest of them meaning the bunch who hangs out by the mirror and the player) Like ms.mesmerizing-hips for example! (li dubbed her that and we ALL think it's super appropriate!! wait... i think her name's actually deborah or smthing like that. Mesmerizing Hips sounds cooler -grinne-) argh i need to improve improve improve improve imPROVE!!!!! like more sTyLinG and better turns...!
thanks kenneth for giving me ideas as to what i should do during work (other than work! haha!)... blog surfing is so fun! heehee, i've got alll the timmmme in the world to do what i wanna do!!!
not.
This is such a PERFECT example of X-inefficiency!! Leibenstein would be soo happy with me :P
X-inefficiency: Cost that is higher than it needs to be because a firm is operating inefficiently. This is most often seen for firms that have a great deal of market control, especially monopoly. The lack of competition allows a business to pad it's expenses, hire unneeded employees (like relatives), goof off instead of working, and all sorts of other things that lessen production and increase cost. The business is not penalized for these actions, because market control allows the company to extract whatever price is needed to cover cost. ~AmosWEB
I don't think i'm unneeded exactly... I'm just inefficiently allocated! The bank has a lot of work to be done as well as a lot of over-worked employees; however, they don't seem to have had much experience to interns! As such, I've not been allocated any particular responsibilites, just dumped into whatever department and thrown extra work to do (be it filing, photocopying or data entry). Interns are supposed to learn more than temps (which is why temps work less but are paid more), but that is not happening!
Sigh... I really shouldn't bitch about my work so much :P other ppl have it worse! Makes me feel quite ashamed as there are dozens of desperately unemployed ppl out there who would give anything to be in my position yet here i am, bored out of my mind and slacking as much as i can!! Not that i'm a slacker, just that lately, it's been getting harder and harder for them to find stuff for me to do that i find i've been dragging out whatever work they do give so as to let enough time pass for more work to accumulate for me to do before i ask for it :S
hmmm... i wonder if i can find more salsa peepz around... =)
1:06 PM
My plant is dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh i have purple thumbs!! I must be the only person in the entire world who can make a potted plant die in 3 wks using water, plant food and TLC.... *sobs* Maybe it doesn't like me... Maybe if I just leave it alone for like one month then it will start to bloom... :P bleah!
Eddie is nice! He's my new dance partner for the cha cha competition. Strangely enough, I only met him the friday before last, when he first asked me to dance.. Which means I've only met him twice! :P I mean, I've seen him around before, but he appeared rather out of my league, being part of Luther's dance performance team and all; so it's not that I didn't know who he was (li danced with him before like AGES ago), but i just hadn't met him before then.
Two days ago (tues), I was totally freaking out about the prospect of dancing with a total stranger. ie, entering a competition with him which means lots of one-on-one prac for the next two months... Yes. I don't know if I should be filled with glee or filled with dread. Probably both! :p Glee coz he's super nice, cute, sweet as well as a great dancer; dread coz I don't know him at all!!! So far, all I've gathered is that he's 23, currently in Air Force and been dancing salsa for the last 2 years, 1+ of which has been with Luther's performance team. How little is that?!?!!
Sigh... After half an hour of pouring out my anxiety on li (thank you!!) and one hour of sleep on the bus to yio chu kang fr tampines, i felt a lot better :P that old adage that one should "go to sleep, everything will be fine in the morning", is certainly not untrue! Not quite true either though, since it's more stress relief than problem solving ;)
Anyway, I have since resigned myself to whatever God has in store for my future... I look forward to partnering Eddie and I am tremendously excited over taking part in an actual dance competition!!!!! Whee!! That is, when i am not worried to pieces about it... haha. Firstly, we haven't really really really decided on a dance yet.. Cha cha is almost definite (note: almost!), but should we try for another one? Like Rumba for instance??? (Rumba is cooooooollllllllll............... *fastfast slloowww... fastfast slloooowwwwww*) hehheh. And then, I may not be totally stressed out anymore about partnering eddie, but still, I can't help being worried...
Worried that we won't click... Worried that we'd remain painfully polite strangers thru e entire duration... Worried that our conversation would be stilted and awkward. worried that i'll be too short for him, or too lousy... which is where my consience kicks in and screams "SELFISH!!!!!" i mean, i'm sure there are tons of other girls who would looovveee to dance with eddie (like, who wouldn't?? :P); and most of them probably taller, prettier and better dancers than i (eg. stephanie / other performance team girls)... Just that I happened to get to him first!
Apart fr him being nice, saying 'no' to a girl is practically unheard of in a social dancing context! (unless the guy is a total meanie, in which case u shouldn't want to dance with him anyway!;) just for example, even if porshee doesn't find the girl who told him abt this comp and asked him to partner her cute (which he does!), he can't tell her no then turn around and join with another girl. Thus it falls to the girl to ensure that she isn't selfishly shackling the guy to an unwanted partnership... ie, me.
Hence, my dilemna! Firstly, despite all my worries and fears that things won't work out, I DO want to partner Eddie! BUT, i have absolutely no way of knowing if he wants to partner me back!! So against that *loud* inner voice of mine that's aghast at my stupidity and longing to bang my head against the wall for looking a gift-horse in the mouth, I intend to talk to eddie tmr, and try to discern his true feelings in the matter... Problem is, he is such a nice guy, that i'm afraid he might discard his own inner voices in favor of what he should be doing (ie, partnering me), in which case, I'll feel absolutely terrible!!! But how am I to know either way???? I'm not at all psychic (haha, can't decide if that'll be a horror or a wonder), and i don't want to dig too deep (hey i can't utterly ignore my own inner voices can i??;) so how should i approach the situation? All I know so far is that he thinks i'm young!! Which, trust me, is NOT a good thing!
Sigh... a part of me wishes he would just see this post and comment honestly, then all my problems will be solved!! Unfortunately, that would just create new problems like, "what?! he read my blog?!?!??! oh i'll never be able to look him in the eye again" kind of problems. Haha.
Isn't life interesting... :p
8:35 AM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I'm gonna change my blog layout... And i've like 20 choices in mind. Haha.
Oh gosh! Just now was so funny! I was checking the setup profiles for new account holders and I came across one woman who ticked 'married', 'divorced' & 'widowed' under marital status in her registration form!! Haha!
My theory is that she was married, got divorced, then her ex-husband died. (does that make her an ex-widow?? erpZ! just kidding!!) And get this: her occupation is a housewife! Go figure! At least it made my morning less boring ;p
Talk about boring, I do NOT want to end up with an occupation that requires me to sit in front of a computer and stare at it the whole day! Like the one I'm in now!!! I can practically feel it sucking my vitality out of me... Seeping, seeping, out of my spirit and into the computer... (now THAT'S a scary thought! what if computers worked not by electricity, but by Life Force??? ah hah! new story!!;) For instance, I was gathering worksheets from the storeroom just now where two others were standing around, moving boxes. The box I dug into was against the wall so as I removed the cover, it slid against the light switch, throwing the room into darkness! Silence... (except for a tiny expletive from your's truly) and I groped for the switch and flipped it back on again, laughing at myself for being so silly. Only to turn around and find the other two ppl staring blankly at me with utterly expressionless faces. *shudder* that totally killed it.
I understand, really, that it's hard to have a sense of humour when you've been hitting data for the past ten years and will likely be doing so for the forseeable future... It just further emphasized how much i should NOT end up like that. Never never ever! It will drain me into nothing and probably nobody would notice.. Such blatant evidence of how possible that really is just scared me when i came across it.
I'm much calmer now... thankfully. Just work hard and TRUST IN GOD and everything will be fine...! Perhaps I'll end up a missionary doing God's work around the world... :) *happy thoughts*
We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams.
1:37 PM
Monday, April 18, 2005
I LOVE DANCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah so what's new eh?? ;)
Get this: I'm going to join an international dance competition.
*audience faints in shock*
Or at least, I really really really really WANT to... I believe my dancing is not too bad, but i've never learnt cha cha AT ALL and i'm not sure just how 'beginner' a beginner category cha cha comp is. :P Granted, I don't have a 'dancer-body' (ie. tall, lithe n graceful), but I believe I won't make a total fool out of myself on the dance floor (unless i trip n fall, which would be humiliating).
I haven't been able to concentrate the entire day, since Porshee told me abt the comp. I feel as if something wonderful is about to happen... You know, when everyday life is so mundance and you feel so fustrated because you know that you could be so much more and that life just isn't meant to be lived this way? Well, this feeling of intense excitement is what I have now. As if...
I'm standing on the edge of a precipice with the wind in my hair and the world before me, about to grow wings...
As if...
I'm standing before a locked door, light pouring out of its crevices and shining onto my face, the key in my hand...
As if...
I'm twirling around and around, head thrown back and laughter in my ears, the sky swirling above me in a glorious splash of colour, and i realize i can no longer feel the ground beneath my feet for I am falling, falling into Heaven...
Something wonderful is about to happen... I can feel it.
6:22 PM