Thursday, July 07, 2005
I love you darling... Can't believe we've managed to meet every day since last wed :) :) but i still miss you... *sigh*
school stuff has started already with the commencement of Tiles that Bind - a racial harmony day project as community service. Soon i'll be away at camps etc... still undecided abt visting yee yen in m'sia next weekend... :p
sigh... *sleepy* feel incomplete without my darling... took off the ring to play badminton just now n my finger felt desolately empty w/o it... kept fiddling w my finger till i put it back.. :p sighhh.....
love you ~
12:37 AM
Monday, July 04, 2005
"Trust the guy... Just don't trust the girls around your guy. ESP those who are ESPECIALLY nice to him!!" --> think i've already learnt this thanks to a certain *ahem* jean???
Just some sage advice from my dear kor who decided to call up today to ask why aragorn lives so long ;P haha. i've forgotten how nice it was to talk to him... I love how he makes me feel so comfortable with him no matter how long we don't communicate :) was actually feeling very listless & lethargic today *shrug* waking up late and staying home the whole day saps my strength! Strange.. I used to be such a homebody :s anyway, now i feel perked up and happier =) grinne. let's take a look at some of what kor said...
"Prepare to be heartbroken."
That was his first, frank and most bluntly realistic opinion. Bah! Sigh... I can more or less put aside when mummy, papa and everyone else says it and attribute it to denial etc; but not marcus. I hear it, i know it, but i doubt i can truly understand or accept it unless it eventually comes to pass... Sigh... Bad enough when such thoughts seek to encrouch upon the confines of my mind without having someone whose objective opinion i trust saying it out loud to me.
This really IS just a honeymoon period... And it won't end till we have our first quarrel. Sigh... I wish it could just get over and done with!! This maddening uncertainty is eating away at the warm, confident glow of being in love; thrusting the seeds of doubt deep to lie dormant within, just waiting for the slightest reason to take root and sprout :(
He asked also what were the 3 things i absolutely can't stand in a person, then asked again if i'd still love you yi if he had all those 3.
To be honest, i never really thought about it... I suppose i am still rather inexperienced and naive in the matters of the heart, blindly (foolishly?) believing that love conquers anything. That's true but incomplete. Love is but an emotion tying two parties together, strengthening them yet rendering each more vulnerable to the other. However, achieving a lasting love and long-term relationship takes tremendous effort. While love is an emotion that enhances the desire to exert that effort, it should not be solely relied upon to provide that effort, but requires constant & additional emotional strength to bolster itself. Shoot... Suddenly reverted to my "i'm gonna be single for the rest of my life and it'd be great" mindset today... Felt a moment of disorientation and a lingering, inexplicable unease. *shifts uncomfortably* shall put it down to not having gotten used to being attached yet and leave it at that.
Sigh... i hate worrying coz i rarely do x.x Trust in the Lord!! So how certain is our relationship??? Honestly? I DON'T KNOW! I used to think certainty came after marriage... But now there's not even that!! In fact, i think there's even more to lose once u get married so things may even get less certain..... :( :( :( SIGH!!!! Heard that old adage that it's useless to cry over spilt milk? Well, here's another: it's useless crying over milk that's yet to be (and may never be) spilt!! *grimace*
Really shouldn't stay at home all day... Leaves me morose and dispirited.
Shelter me Lord...
9:50 PM