Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It’s been more than 2 months since my last post… 2 months of losing myself, finding myself and losing myself again. 2 months of loving without thinking, or thinking too much; of praying and needing and wanting and well, of life in all its complicated glory.

Yi-xian
Strong, responsible, confident (arrogant at times), stubborn, scarred…
The living example of the lead male in a beautiful romance novel set in old English times.
In the book, he starts out open and carefree, loving freely and steadfast in his love. Then tragedy occurs. The woman he loved with all his heart scorned him, perhaps, or cheated on him. And he goes to war, grief-stricken but determined not to show it. Years later, he returns from battle a different man. A hardened man.
Stripped of his youthful innocence, he becomes cynical and jaded, letting women to his bed but not his heart (and the women go eagerly, attracted by his dangerous air and midnight eyes. Each of them wanting to be the one to sooth his heart but succeeding only in soothing his body.)
Then one day, a young woman just introduced to society catches his eye. Vibrant and beautiful, the daring sparkle in her eyes captures his attention from across the crowded ballroom and he finds himself drawn to her… Somehow the knowledge that she is already betrothed didn’t seem as important as it should, especially when she appeared to feel as attracted to him as he was to her.
Long story short, they fell in love in secret while her betrothed was away for a few months. Breathless moments of sinful pleasure coupled with the sweetness of falling asleep in each others’ arms and the simple joy of playing in the snow. Little by little, the walls around his heart melted like ice to her warmth and he felt a measure of peace and contentment creeping over him that he hadn’t felt in years.

You Yi
Earnest, loving, faithful, steadfast, sensitive and possessive…
Also another epitome of a lead male in a romance novel, albeit, one with different qualities from the first. He too, has loved and lost. But his more open, trusting and giving nature allowed him to love again with less pain, learning from the mistakes he made in the past.
Out in the countryside, his friend invited him to an exclusive party of another friend. It was here his eyes beheld the girl who would become his next love. Yet to be introduced to society, she brimmed with the artless gaiety of innocence, unaware of her beauty and of the power of her cheerful smile. Relentlessly, he pursued her and she fell in love with him in a trice, loving him so completely and wholeheartedly as only one who has never known the thorns love carries can love. Before long, they were betrothed with the benevolent blessings of both families.
Their engagement, however, was to be an extended one. He first had to settle an education overseas while she would be introduced to society and given the chance to change her mind. And so he left… Fiercely loyal to her, he called frequently and tried to curb his jealousy as she made her debut and discovered an exciting life without him.
Slowly, the distance between them grew… She called him less and didn’t want to hear from him very often. And when they spoke, the name of another guy appeared to crop up more and more. He couldn’t help the intensity of his love. Jealousy ate him up from inside and hurt tore him apart. It frightened her and pushed her away, even as the other guy drew her close.
So it seemed their love was not to be and their betrothal was called off. But it doesn’t end here… For soon, he returned from his long sojourn…



I was going to write more… But there’s no point. Its over. The girl loved both and thus can have neither. The cynical warrior loved her too much to bear the thought of her divided heart and so he walked away. Down the long dark road leading away from her house, little pools of light from the streetlamps making the darkness darker, he walked. She hid in the shadow beneath the tree, numb with grief and watched him go… He never looked back. Not even once.

Its over, its over… Yi-Xian, I love you too much to make you stay. More than you’d ever know or care to have. This is the way it should be. But you’d always be in my heart… ALWAYS.

12:54 AM

Cheryl Kong

SNGPS/RGS/RJC/SMU/UVA

~*dancer*lover*dreamer*~




1. Go on exchange
2. Transfer to UVA
3. Visit the SPCA here at c'ville
4. Skydive & Whitewater raft
5. READ THE PAPERS DAILY!

• my sister
  
• my best friend
  
• my captain
  
  
• Channel News Asia
  
• Wall Street Journal
  
• Forbes
  
  
• Wikipedia
  

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fairies are dancing

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