Thursday, May 10, 2007
My exams end tomorrow... I dropped off my enrollment deposit today... Everything seems so surreal all of a sudden. I can't believe I'm actually coming back here next semester. Wow. I'm kinda scared and kinda worried. Esp about my grades and the housing thing. Mmm... But God will provide.
You Yi is here. And unfortunately he has very good physique. And he still loves me so very much. I feel sad and guilty.
I went to study at the library with Yix and as usual, he walked me back. And walked in to say hi to you yi =/ I guess its my fault... I thought you yi could take it but he still loves me. Despite knowing that I cheated on him, despite knowing that I love yi-xian and have already made love to him, he loves me. He wants me to be happy and if that means being with yi-xian then its for me to decide. You Yi is... a really good man. He deserves someone better than me. Sinful ol' me. I pray that God will reward him for his love and faithfulness and patience because he deserves something for all that I've put him through.
I really do love yix though... You yi tried to kiss me when I admitted that I have missed him somewhat, but i refused. And he asked me to lie down with him for awhile and feeling bad for him, I complied, but got up again after a few seconds because it just didn't feel right. His shoulder is not Yi-xian's shoulder, his arms are not yix's arms. Our relationship is going pretty well... The night you yi was due to arrive, he refused to let me out of his arms and told me he loved me 4 times in less than 3 hours! :) :) He also said that if you yi put his hand on my waist while i'm cooking then I'm supposed to slap yy coz he's the only one allowed to touch me. Lol... Still waters run deep. I'm just living for the present now... The future will become the present soon enough without me having to worry so much about it.
Guide us, Lord, in all Your wisdom and mercy, please be with us and show us the way...
10:52 PM