Sunday, May 06, 2007
I'm really upset with lee keong and the rest of the smu ppl right now. Yes, it was my fault because I overslept... Lee said to be ready by 3, but i was still asleep at 3.15 when Robin came to tell me that he was coming. So i rushed out of bed to change & brush my teeth and stuff, & while i was in the toilet robin called me from outside saying that they were waiting. So i said give me 5 mins more, coz i was halfway changing. I finished, grabbed my bag and rushed down by 3.25, but no one was there anymore. I looked up and down at every single car but they weren't there. I tried to call robin (coz his was the only number i had on my singapore phone), but he didn't pick up. So i tried to see if i could catch a cab but there weren't any cabs around. Giving up, i went back to my room at 3.40 and called Lee Keong. Shu En picked up the phone and told me lee keong was in a bad mood and that he said he was waiting for half an hour. She asked me if i wanted yellow cab's number to go and join them. I was like, no thanks, its okay. I mean, why watch with a bunch of ppl who don't want to watch with me? I told her to try and sell my ticket but if cannot, i'd pay him back (i doubt they'd try).
Whatever.
F*** lah... And my grades may be counted towards my gpa if i stay here. And i just checked one of my grades and its a B (industrial org). I'm prob gonna get a B for everything and except for game theory, in which I'd prob get a C =/ i really really pray that my grades won't be counted... how fair is it to tell me that it would be right smack in the middle of my exams?? Stupid. *stressed*
On a brighter side, yix came to the library at 3am last night just so he could see me. Although when I asked him why he did so after he walked me back, he said he felt like he should or he won't be a good boyfriend. So i was like, you felt like you should or you wanted to? And he said he felt "compelled to". Oh yeah, and we finally kissed. Twice. Once at the library and once outside my room. He actually noticed that we hadn't kissed in "damn long" (his words exactly). Lol. He asked if i was satisfied and before i could answer, said "no right?" and laughed. Well... I don't know if 'compelled to' is a good answer. And my sister called me this morning and told me not to get too close to him coz she doesn't approve... Haha. Hmm... I still don't think of him as my boyfriend yet. He misses huang di. He said he wants many many dogs next time. Big dogs. Doberman, german shepards... I said i want a dalmation and a husky, and now that i think about it, a lassie would be nice too or that big white dog in amber's obedience class. I like golden retrievers, but they're overrated :p
Li, li, what can you do about jo? Either he's stupid and he doesn't know the power that nice words and actions from a guy can have over a woman, or he's smart and he's playing you all... Really. What joyce said about for all she knows, he could be making out with random girls in his uni, sounds suspiciously as if he had promised her otherwise. And the other girl telling him about a girl she likes whom you suspect is him? Girls don't tell guys they like them unless they feel that the guy likes them back, at least to a certain extent... Not at this age. That would be jo leading them on. Intentionally or unintentionally, i don't know. Even if its unintentionally and he's just being 'nice', I worry that even IF he takes that step and tells you he loves you, he'd still do that to other girls... Completely inappropriate and hurtful to both them and you. He seriously needs to learn how to control himself and how to treat women. That is why i don't approve of him... Because he doesn't give you enough of himself, because he doesn't fight with/for you, because he leads girls on, because he takes advantage of you in taking what you give without giving back, because he's not strong, because he hurts you and makes you sad... There are so many becauses. You deserve so much better, best friend. *hug* You don't have to settle for andee if he doesn't make you as happy as jo could, but that doesn't mean that jo's the right one either.
Take your time girl... You're still young. Be happy with what life gives you and don't make yourself unnecessarily unhappy by wanting what it doesn't. We've got each other and we've got God. He'd take care of us :)
3:57 AM