Thursday, April 26, 2007
A very VERY long conversation with you yi... for about the past 3 hours. But i've said my piece and its done now. 6am... I'm tired, i'm going to sleep.
Aziraphale says (3:31 AM):
hey
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:32 AM):
hi
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:32 AM):
how come u're coming online so late?
Aziraphale says (3:32 AM):
i just came back from a money
Aziraphale says (3:32 AM):
movie
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:33 AM):
wow
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:34 AM):
what show?
Aziraphale says (3:34 AM):
fight club
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:35 AM):
oOOO
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:35 AM):
i've always wanted to watch that
Aziraphale says (3:35 AM):
what are you doing up so late?>
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:36 AM):
not sleepy
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:36 AM):
doing work
Aziraphale says (3:36 AM):
=|
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:36 AM):
had nice dinner tonight
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:36 AM):
shu en and i cooked
Aziraphale says (3:36 AM):
nice
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
she made fish curry
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
and bak choy
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
and the rice
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
i cooked herbal soup, lemon chicken and sweet&Spicy prawns+tofu
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
Aziraphale says (3:37 AM):
wow thats amazing
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
actually...
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
no
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
all use pastes one
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:37 AM):
Aziraphale says (3:38 AM):
and so?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:38 AM):
cheating
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:38 AM):
haha
Aziraphale says (3:38 AM):
shrugs..still needs skill
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:38 AM):
ahaha
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:38 AM):
not reaallyyy.................
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:38 AM):
hrms
Aziraphale says (3:39 AM):
hmmm..
Aziraphale says (3:39 AM):
i guess you had a good night
Aziraphale says (3:39 AM):
=)
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:39 AM):
quite
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
and guan ming and i are going to bake cheesecake tmr
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
Aziraphale says (3:40 AM):
with yix?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
nope!
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
just gm and i
Aziraphale says (3:40 AM):
i meant tonight =)
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
we're making : http://cheesecake-recipes.kraftfoods.com/cheesecake_39.html
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
and http://cheesecake-recipes.kraftfoods.com/cheesecake_27.html
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:40 AM):
tonight?
Aziraphale says (3:40 AM):
thats cute
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:41 AM):
tonight is wed. its the same ppl every week
Aziraphale says (3:41 AM):
haha
Aziraphale says (3:41 AM):
i meant your msn nick
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:41 AM):
robin, kelvin, boon how, ruyi, lee kiong, shu en and yes yix
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:41 AM):
and me of course
Aziraphale says (3:41 AM):
i'm assuming you;re talking about him
Aziraphale says (3:41 AM):
haha of course
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:43 AM):
its just a nice song
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:43 AM):
iris by goo goo dolls
Aziraphale says (3:43 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:44 AM):
you're prob gonna see him when u come at the end of the semester you know...
Aziraphale says (3:44 AM):
i know...
Aziraphale says (3:44 AM):
as long as you two dont make out in front of me or smth
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:44 AM):
Aziraphale says (3:44 AM):
=P
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:45 AM):
or else?
Aziraphale says (3:45 AM):
well i guess you could, i'll just run away
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:45 AM):
...
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:45 AM):
you yi
Aziraphale says (3:45 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:45 AM):
you know i won't do that to you
Aziraphale says (3:45 AM):
=P
Aziraphale says (3:45 AM):
i know
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:46 AM):
i'm gonna try to make your brief visit here as painless as possible ok?
Aziraphale says (3:46 AM):
i have a question....
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:46 AM):
meaning keep both of you apart
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:46 AM):
yes?
Aziraphale says (3:46 AM):
when was the first time he kissed you
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:46 AM):
whhhhhaaaaaaaatttttttttt?
Aziraphale says (3:47 AM):
just curious
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:47 AM):
ask me again like 5 years from now and maybe i'd tell u
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:47 AM):
;p
Aziraphale says (3:47 AM):
....
Aziraphale says (3:47 AM):
i guess that just about answers my qn actually
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:47 AM):
why?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:48 AM):
how so?
Aziraphale says (3:48 AM):
hmmmm coz i can infer that it was probably before we broke up
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:48 AM):
.......................
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:48 AM):
and how in the world did you magically infer that
Aziraphale says (3:49 AM):
coz 1) you wont tell, meaning that you definitely made out already, and 2) i promised someone not to tell
Aziraphale says (3:49 AM):
and 3 what you just said
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:50 AM):
what?!
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:50 AM):
you promised someone not to tell what?
Aziraphale says (3:50 AM):
i cant tell
Aziraphale says (3:50 AM):
but is it true?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:51 AM):
how can i say if its true if i don't know what you're not telling?!
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:51 AM):
Aziraphale says (3:51 AM):
did he kiss you before we broke up?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:51 AM):
.....
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:51 AM):
tell me who the person is at least
Aziraphale says (3:52 AM):
i cant. i promised
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:52 AM):
you promised not to tell whatever he/she told you
Aziraphale says (3:52 AM):
and the person too
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:52 AM):
well you promised not to ask me anything
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:52 AM):
or bring up all this
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:52 AM):
but u've broken it numerous times
Aziraphale says (3:52 AM):
true
Aziraphale says (3:53 AM):
but i got my answer anyhow
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:53 AM):
so u might as well tell me
Aziraphale says (3:53 AM):
i guess that you were right
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:53 AM):
i was right what?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:53 AM):
i'm completely losing you btw
Aziraphale says (3:53 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:53 AM):
i'm in the dark of 90% of the conversation
Aziraphale says (3:53 AM):
i know..i'm actually falling asleep
Aziraphale says (3:53 AM):
after a long surreal movie
Aziraphale says (3:54 AM):
i'm just typing rubbish
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:54 AM):
liar
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:54 AM):
stop trying to run away
Aziraphale says (3:54 AM):
what does it matter?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:54 AM):
and tell me whatever it is u want to say
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:54 AM):
of course it does!
Aziraphale says (3:54 AM):
ok
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:54 AM):
u're still my friend!
Aziraphale says (3:54 AM):
here's what i have to day
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:55 AM):
and i'm trying to keep it that way
Aziraphale says (3:55 AM):
say
Aziraphale says (3:55 AM):
i know thank you
Aziraphale says (3:55 AM):
i'm disappointed in you
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:55 AM):
ok
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:55 AM):
u're welcome
Aziraphale says (3:56 AM):
haha you're welcome for the second statement?
Aziraphale says (3:56 AM):
thats wierd
Aziraphale says (3:56 AM):
=)
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:56 AM):
welcome usually goes after thank you
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:56 AM):
its called good manners
Aziraphale says (3:56 AM):
haha yeah...
Aziraphale says (3:57 AM):
thats true
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:57 AM):
so.
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:57 AM):
person?
Aziraphale says (3:57 AM):
i
Aziraphale says (3:58 AM):
i
Aziraphale says (3:58 AM):
wouldnt you want to know what i'm disappointed in?
.: ck :. has no hp says (3:58 AM):
sure... after you tell me who the person was and what he/she said... i believe i have a right to know as it concerns MY life
Aziraphale says (3:59 AM):
it was only between me and that person who told me and me alone
Aziraphale says (4:00 AM):
because the person felt that it concerned my life
Aziraphale says (4:00 AM):
the person never tolda nyone else
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:00 AM):
well it obviously concerns mine too
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:00 AM):
so by that logic, you would have to tell me as well
Aziraphale says (4:00 AM):
haha yeah, but it doesnt matter for you
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:00 AM):
for all you or i know, the person could be lying
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:00 AM):
so of course it matters to me!
Aziraphale says (4:01 AM):
from your non replies...it would appear to be true
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:01 AM):
that's a blatant assumption
Aziraphale says (4:01 AM):
alright
Aziraphale says (4:02 AM):
what the person told me gave me reason to believe that you and he were more intimate than you let on b4 we broke up
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:02 AM):
:/
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:03 AM):
tell me (1) who the person is (2) what he/she told you, and i promise to tell you if its true or false
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:03 AM):
promise
You have just sent a Nudge!
Aziraphale says (4:05 AM):
this is between you and me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:05 AM):
ok
Aziraphale says (4:06 AM):
no..i meant that this matter is between you and me alone..
Aziraphale says (4:06 AM):
it doesnt involve the person
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:06 AM):
well the person involved him/herself by saying whatever he/she said
Aziraphale says (4:07 AM):
i actually told you (2)
Aziraphale says (4:07 AM):
the person refused to go into details coz the person didnt want to
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:08 AM):
no u didn't tell me anything, though u did beat around the bush alot
Aziraphale says (4:08 AM):
but the person said that you were closer to each other than an attached girl should
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:09 AM):
can you just say whatever the person said straight out please?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:09 AM):
all of it?
Aziraphale says (4:09 AM):
that was it.. this wasnt recent.. it was some time ago
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:10 AM):
the person said exactly that and only that? that we were closer to each other than proper?
Aziraphale says (4:10 AM):
the person also refused to elaborate
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:10 AM):
hence u said he kissed me
Aziraphale says (4:10 AM):
no, that was postulation on my part... thats why i asked
Aziraphale says (4:11 AM):
i wanted to know
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:11 AM):
is that person jervis?
Aziraphale says (4:11 AM):
no comments
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:12 AM):
you have to tell me so i can tell you what happened you know
Aziraphale says (4:12 AM):
so something did happen?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:12 AM):
...
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:12 AM):
let me rephrase that statement for your paranoid mind
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:13 AM):
you have to tell me so i can tell you what, IF ANYTHING, happened
Aziraphale says (4:13 AM):
did he kiss you before we broke up, did you hold hands, did you kiss him?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:14 AM):
i'm not saying anything until you tell me
Aziraphale says (4:14 AM):
why do you need to know the person?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:15 AM):
becaauuseee... if i know the person, then i would know why the person thought that way and tell you
Aziraphale says (4:16 AM):
telling you the person isnt going to change what ever you did, even if you did anything
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:16 AM):
but telling me the person would allow me to give you certain truth
Aziraphale says (4:16 AM):
??
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:17 AM):
ie. u want primary source or secondary source?
Aziraphale says (4:17 AM):
i want all of the truth
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:17 AM):
i am the primary source
Aziraphale says (4:17 AM):
so tell me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:17 AM):
well u haven't said anything yet
Aziraphale says (4:17 AM):
lay my mind to rest on certain issues
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:17 AM):
name?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:17 AM):
i promise i won't kill the person or anything
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:18 AM):
u know that
Aziraphale says (4:18 AM):
of course =P
Aziraphale says (4:18 AM):
you remember how you said dont drag people into this?
Aziraphale says (4:18 AM):
i'm not dragging that person into this
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:18 AM):
i promise i won't call the person and demand explanations the way you called people
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:19 AM):
it is also for my peace of mind
Aziraphale says (4:19 AM):
it's someone who will be of no trouble to you
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:19 AM):
...
Aziraphale says (4:20 AM):
cheryl..
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
hurry up
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
so we can both have peace of mind tonight
Aziraphale says (4:20 AM):
just tell me the truth of what happened this semester
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
its 4.20am
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
if you don't tell me by 4.25, i am going to sleep
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
and never talk about this again
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:20 AM):
and i mean never.
Aziraphale says (4:20 AM):
.....
Aziraphale says (4:21 AM):
threats
Aziraphale says (4:21 AM):
and strongarming
Aziraphale says (4:21 AM):
i know you mean it
Aziraphale says (4:21 AM):
and you know i know that
Aziraphale says (4:21 AM):
willl you tell me ALL of the truth
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:22 AM):
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:22 AM):
what the heck is all of the truth?!
Aziraphale says (4:22 AM):
of what happened this semester
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:22 AM):
i will tell u if what the person said was warranted or not
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:22 AM):
and why
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:22 AM):
and how
Aziraphale says (4:22 AM):
no.
Aziraphale says (4:22 AM):
i want to know what happened between you and yix this semester
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:23 AM):
getting greedy aren't we?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:23 AM):
4.23am
Aziraphale says (4:23 AM):
my original question was did he kiss you
Aziraphale says (4:23 AM):
did you cheat on me?
Aziraphale says (4:23 AM):
did he steal you heart as i drove you away
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:24 AM):
4.24
Aziraphale says (4:24 AM):
ok
Aziraphale says (4:24 AM):
fine
Aziraphale says (4:24 AM):
i'll tell
Aziraphale says (4:24 AM):
say something first
Aziraphale says (4:24 AM):
you're never going to tell anyone about this
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:25 AM):
i'm never going to tell anyone about this.
Aziraphale says (4:25 AM):
weiqin
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:25 AM):
hah
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:25 AM):
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:25 AM):
wow
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:25 AM):
incredible
Aziraphale says (4:26 AM):
why
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:26 AM):
why?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:26 AM):
she's in singapore that's why!
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:26 AM):
she doesn't know me that's why
Aziraphale says (4:26 AM):
and so?
Aziraphale says (4:27 AM):
who's her boyfriend?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:27 AM):
her boyfriend is yix's best friend, who was upset with her because she and yix had something going on for awhile
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:28 AM):
and her boyfriend doesn't like me because of you now you know
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:28 AM):
even though i haven't even met him
Aziraphale says (4:28 AM):
but who does yix talk to now still?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:28 AM):
erm.. .me?
Aziraphale says (4:28 AM):
him
Aziraphale says (4:28 AM):
and he surely talks to her
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:29 AM):
how often do u talk to ning yan?
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
barely
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:29 AM):
exactly
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
=)
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
well..yix told him about you
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
apparently
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
and he told WQ
Aziraphale says (4:29 AM):
and WQ told me
Aziraphale says (4:30 AM):
this was before they got mad at me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:30 AM):
wow how long have u been talking to wq?
Aziraphale says (4:30 AM):
only back then
Aziraphale says (4:30 AM):
and she told me
Aziraphale says (4:31 AM):
and i disregarded it, never believing a word she said
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:31 AM):
and now you do because we're no longer together?
Aziraphale says (4:31 AM):
but it's been gnawing at my mind, so whatever your answer, i wanted closure
Aziraphale says (4:31 AM):
well kinda
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:31 AM):
suddenly i've changed after i'm not your gf?
Aziraphale says (4:32 AM):
shrugs
Aziraphale says (4:32 AM):
you tell me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:32 AM):
...
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:32 AM):
ok
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:32 AM):
you want closure, i'll give you closure
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:33 AM):
bear in mind that you have just pushed me somewhere i wasn't going to go yet
Aziraphale says (4:33 AM):
ok..i've been preparing myself
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:33 AM):
ok
Aziraphale says (4:33 AM):
but
Aziraphale says (4:33 AM):
i mean, i always wanted the truth
Aziraphale says (4:33 AM):
i know that you dont want to hurt me
Aziraphale says (4:33 AM):
and i'm grateful
Aziraphale says (4:34 AM):
really
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:34 AM):
u've a funny way of showing it then
Aziraphale says (4:34 AM):
??..i dont want any lies or suspicions anymore
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:34 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:34 AM):
who's lying or suspecting?!
Aziraphale says (4:34 AM):
and god knows how much of that i have
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:34 AM):
not me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
i told you
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
a long time ago
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
that yix liked me
Aziraphale says (4:35 AM):
yes
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
and because of that, you started getting possessive and driving me away
Aziraphale says (4:35 AM):
yes
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
on hindsight, i guess not telling you would have been better
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:35 AM):
so now i'm being bitten for something i did right
Aziraphale says (4:36 AM):
hmmm
Aziraphale says (4:36 AM):
not really
Aziraphale says (4:36 AM):
even if you didnt tell me about yix
Aziraphale says (4:36 AM):
i felt you were growing further away anyay
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:36 AM):
whoa now u're putting your own spin on things
Aziraphale says (4:37 AM):
remember that one night
Aziraphale says (4:37 AM):
i was complaining to you that i felt i wasnt on your priority list?
Aziraphale says (4:37 AM):
i wasnt eventhinking about yix
Aziraphale says (4:37 AM):
i just felt you placed all your friends up higher than me..
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:38 AM):
well good to know that we would have broken up anyway
Aziraphale says (4:38 AM):
sigh
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:38 AM):
so its not yix's fault in any case
Aziraphale says (4:38 AM):
did he kiss you?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:38 AM):
let me finish
Aziraphale says (4:38 AM):
k
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:39 AM):
ok so he told chester about me because he liked me and i didn't even know about it back then!
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:39 AM):
heck i didn't even know that he had a best friend called chester whose gf was wq
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:40 AM):
so regarding what wq said, about us being closer than appropriate for a gf
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:40 AM):
is prob more from yix's point of view with him liking me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:41 AM):
hey you made me promise to keep this between us but u didn't make the same promise
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:41 AM):
are u still talking to wq?
Aziraphale says (4:41 AM):
alright
Aziraphale says (4:41 AM):
no.
Aziraphale says (4:41 AM):
i make the same promise
Aziraphale says (4:41 AM):
this is for my own closure
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:42 AM):
ok say it out. promise me that none of this goes back to wq and u won't talk to her about our relationship or abt yix ever again.
Aziraphale says (4:42 AM):
heck i dont even talk to her anymore
Aziraphale says (4:42 AM):
i promise
Aziraphale says (4:42 AM):
that what ever you say does not go back to wq
Aziraphale says (4:43 AM):
and i will not talk to her about you and yix ever again
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:43 AM):
ok good thank u
Aziraphale says (4:44 AM):
only you can make me break my promises =P
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:44 AM):
i doubt it
Aziraphale says (4:44 AM):
ha.
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:44 AM):
but anyways
Aziraphale says (4:44 AM):
yup?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:45 AM):
(1) yes he kissed me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:45 AM):
(2) rmbr ur version of cheating?
Aziraphale says (4:46 AM):
holding hands?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:46 AM):
(3) he tried to take me as you drove me away, but i make my own decisions thank you
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:46 AM):
i'm not a commodity to be passed around
Aziraphale says (4:46 AM):
never said you were
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
i decide who i want and what i want to do with my life
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
so you know
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
u've actually been doing very well
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
i missed you the last few days
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:48 AM):
and kept asking myself why did all that happen?
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
=P
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:48 AM):
i'm as puzzled as you are sometimes
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
sigh
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
i'm sorry....
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
really
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:48 AM):
i guess it just wasn't meant to be
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
ouch *wince*
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:48 AM):
just as you almost made it, you wrecked it again
Aziraphale says (4:48 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:49 AM):
for your own peace of mind
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:49 AM):
well
Aziraphale says (4:49 AM):
huh??
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:49 AM):
huh?
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:49 AM):
oh my last sentence
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:50 AM):
basically, i've been more sure of you than i have been of yix
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:50 AM):
but thanks to you and your paranoia and insecurity, you never believe me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:50 AM):
so i get annoyed that you don't believe me, which further pushes me towards yix
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:50 AM):
even though inherently i won't have gotten that close to him
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:51 AM):
so during the past week or so
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:52 AM):
i realised that i really loved you so much and that what we had was more than whatever yix and i have now
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:53 AM):
even yix said he worries that if we do get together, one day you might grow up and i might get back together with you
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:53 AM):
and i didn't deny that statement a few days ago
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:53 AM):
but since we're into closure now and all that
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:54 AM):
i close you.
Aziraphale says (4:54 AM):
blinkblink
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:55 AM):
u wanted to know
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:55 AM):
you wanted closure
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:55 AM):
now the bridges are burnt
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:55 AM):
i can't go back to you knowing that next time, whenever i tell you about a guy, u're gonna start suspecting and pushing me away again
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:56 AM):
whatever
Aziraphale says (4:56 AM):
wait a second
Aziraphale says (4:57 AM):
you make it sound as if i had a chance
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:57 AM):
you did... i told you again and again I won't decide till singapore
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:57 AM):
and i hadn't
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:57 AM):
i really hadn't
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:58 AM):
i guess this conversation came at a good time, since yix and i talked tonight as well
Aziraphale says (4:58 AM):
uh huh
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:58 AM):
he's told me he loves me
Aziraphale says (4:59 AM):
thats good..
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:59 AM):
but u know what, he's unhappy because i've never said the same back to him
Aziraphale says (4:59 AM):
...
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:59 AM):
so he wanted commitment
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:59 AM):
but i haven't given him anything yet
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:00 AM):
because i was going to wait till singapore
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:00 AM):
before deciding
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:00 AM):
i guess part of the decision has been taken out of my hands yeah
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:01 AM):
now all i have to decide is whether to stay with him or not
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:01 AM):
you're not in the picture anymore, sorry.
Aziraphale says (5:01 AM):
cheryl,
Aziraphale says (5:01 AM):
...
Aziraphale says (5:02 AM):
all
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:02 AM):
i asked you to be patient
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:02 AM):
that was all i asked
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:02 AM):
but u didn't believe me
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:03 AM):
yes i've grown closer to him
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:03 AM):
yes he thinks of me as his girlfriend now even though i don't think of him as my boyfriend
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:03 AM):
(he knows this... when ppl ask if we're together he says yes and i say no)
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:04 AM):
haha
Aziraphale says (5:04 AM):
ouch
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:04 AM):
yes
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:04 AM):
it hurts him too
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:04 AM):
because you had a chance
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:04 AM):
i'm sorry
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:05 AM):
i'm really sorry to be telling you this
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:05 AM):
esp over msn
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:05 AM):
so u see where i'm coming from about what he tells chester?
Aziraphale says (5:05 AM):
no...
Aziraphale says (5:05 AM):
i'm sorry
Aziraphale says (5:06 AM):
yeah, i guess
Aziraphale says (5:06 AM):
that was a loong time ago
Aziraphale says (5:06 AM):
cheryl
Aziraphale says (5:06 AM):
i wasnt going to ask you back in summer actually
Aziraphale says (5:07 AM):
if you were to come back to me then,
Aziraphale says (5:07 AM):
i would have been very happy
Aziraphale says (5:07 AM):
but i would think twice before telling you anything
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:07 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:08 AM):
that's funny...
Aziraphale says (5:08 AM):
i think....that i would have told you no..
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:08 AM):
ahaha
Aziraphale says (5:08 AM):
do you know why
?>
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:08 AM):
why?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:08 AM):
Aziraphale says (5:09 AM):
because... i dont know if i would be able to make you happy again
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:09 AM):
Aziraphale says (5:10 AM):
i didnt think i was someone for you
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:10 AM):
sigh you know what's wrong?
Aziraphale says (5:10 AM):
what?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:11 AM):
you always try to 2nd guess my thoughts and u always think you're right when in fact you're not
Aziraphale says (5:12 AM):
i guess
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:12 AM):
mm hm
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:12 AM):
well anyways
Aziraphale says (5:12 AM):
i dont know what made me bring this up
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:12 AM):
i still think we can be friends, but that's entirely up to you
Aziraphale says (5:13 AM):
but, thank you
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:13 AM):
take however long you need to recover
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:13 AM):
just know that i'd be here for you always
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:13 AM):
about the accomodation, do whatever you want.
Aziraphale says (5:13 AM):
i know
Aziraphale says (5:13 AM):
cheryl
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:13 AM):
so now we understnad each other?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:14 AM):
yes?
Aziraphale says (5:14 AM):
sigh
Aziraphale says (5:14 AM):
i wan to tell you something but i'm afraid that it would make things worse
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:14 AM):
haiyah tonight is free for all ok?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:15 AM):
say whatever you want,
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:15 AM):
consider it your last chance
Aziraphale says (5:15 AM):
i'm kinda beating myself up that i ruined my chances
Aziraphale says (5:15 AM):
but i wasnt being paranoid
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:16 AM):
granted, you had a right to be jealous
Aziraphale says (5:16 AM):
i wasnt being insecure
Aziraphale says (5:16 AM):
no i mean like tonight
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:16 AM):
?
Aziraphale says (5:17 AM):
when i asked you those questions
Aziraphale says (5:17 AM):
i've come to terms with our situation
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:18 AM):
ok so we understand each other?
Aziraphale says (5:18 AM):
i just wanted to find out from you to help me confirm or reject what i heard
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:19 AM):
ok
Aziraphale says (5:19 AM):
i wasnt being paranoid or insecure or not believing in you..
Aziraphale says (5:20 AM):
it's just when i hear about this, i just wanted to know what really happened
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:21 AM):
your call
Aziraphale says (5:21 AM):
my call?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:21 AM):
i mean, that was your call
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:21 AM):
it's up to you
Aziraphale says (5:22 AM):
yeah, and now i know
Aziraphale says (5:22 AM):
this will sound bad but...
Aziraphale says (5:23 AM):
dont burn the bridges?
Aziraphale says (5:23 AM):
aha
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:23 AM):
haha sorry
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:23 AM):
you + me = not happening
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:24 AM):
me + yix = short term, probably, long term, don't know yet
Aziraphale says (5:24 AM):
but this conversation was nothing about being jealous or insecure
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:25 AM):
yup
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:25 AM):
its about clearing the air
Aziraphale says (5:26 AM):
so how did that burn the bridges?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:27 AM):
because now i can hold yixian's hand with a clear conscience
Aziraphale says (5:29 AM):
err..ok
Aziraphale says (5:30 AM):
i can't go back to you knowing that next time, whenever i tell you about a guy, u're gonna start suspecting and pushing me away again
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:31 AM):
yeah that too
Aziraphale says (5:31 AM):
basically, i've been more sure of you than i have been of yix
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
but thanks to you and your paranoia and insecurity, you never believe me
.: ck :. has no hp says (4:47 AM):
so i get annoyed that you don't believe me, which further pushes me towards yix
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:32 AM):
okaayy...?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:32 AM):
so what are u trying to say other than parrot me?
Aziraphale says (5:32 AM):
i'm trying to say that
Aziraphale says (5:33 AM):
1
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:34 AM):
?
Aziraphale says (5:34 AM):
dont close me off...i just wanted to know about some things
Aziraphale says (5:35 AM):
2) i'm not jealous of yix that the two of you are together..
Aziraphale says (5:36 AM):
well maybe a bit, and i cant say that i've changed, but if i can live with this, i can live with just about anything
Aziraphale says (5:36 AM):
3)
Aziraphale says (5:37 AM):
shurgs..i'm still the person you're sure of i guess
Aziraphale says (5:37 AM):
*okok, semi together
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:37 AM):
1) sorry too late
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:38 AM):
2) i don't think so
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:38 AM):
3) guessing again? still wrong... i don't want you anymore
Aziraphale says (5:39 AM):
just because i wanted to find out about somethings? and it caused this?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:40 AM):
no this was the straw that broke the camel's back...
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:40 AM):
its not 'just' about any one thing
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:40 AM):
it was over months ago
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:40 AM):
it just took awhile to die down
Aziraphale says (5:41 AM):
=P
Aziraphale says (5:41 AM):
i really shouldnt have come online..
Aziraphale says (5:42 AM):
did i irritate you tonight? i'm srry
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:42 AM):
no i'm not irritated
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:43 AM):
i'm fine
Aziraphale says (5:44 AM):
ok thats good
Aziraphale says (5:44 AM):
actually, i was convinved i didnt have hope already =P
Aziraphale says (5:44 AM):
like you said, it would have dies down
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:45 AM):
ok so u're on the right track then
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:45 AM):
that's good
Aziraphale says (5:45 AM):
when i asked your answer tonight
Aziraphale says (5:45 AM):
and you gave it
Aziraphale says (5:45 AM):
i thank you
Aziraphale says (5:45 AM):
from right now... for you to tell me that he kissed you and stuff
Aziraphale says (5:46 AM):
that was what i wanted to hear
Aziraphale says (5:46 AM):
well, not that he did ofcourse
Aziraphale says (5:46 AM):
but rather the fact that you were willing to tell me everything
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:47 AM):
yup so u're nothing more than a friend
Aziraphale says (5:47 AM):
and i'm not even upset about it =)
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:47 AM):
good me neither
Aziraphale says (5:47 AM):
er..about the kissing bit
Aziraphale says (5:47 AM):
the friend bit is a little big to swallow =P
Aziraphale says (5:47 AM):
haha
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:47 AM):
well you have to
Aziraphale says (5:47 AM):
of course
Aziraphale says (5:48 AM):
i would have really liked to,
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:48 AM):
because as a friend, i'm going to dash your hopes so you won't keep torturing yourself
Aziraphale says (5:48 AM):
but i wouldnt have taken you back
Aziraphale says (5:48 AM):
dont worry, you were doing that well already =)
Aziraphale says (5:48 AM):
see i'm mostly enjoying myself here
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:49 AM):
that's good... don't neglect your studies
Aziraphale says (5:49 AM):
too late =P
Aziraphale says (5:49 AM):
today was last day of classes by the way
Aziraphale says (5:49 AM):
so from tommorrow onwards it's studying all the way
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:49 AM):
cool
Aziraphale says (5:49 AM):
hopefully
Aziraphale says (5:49 AM):
and maybe a bit of dancing
Aziraphale says (5:50 AM):
you know something?
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:50 AM):
u better do well, if not your parents will come after me
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:50 AM):
what?
Aziraphale says (5:50 AM):
nooo
Aziraphale says (5:50 AM):
the only reason why i feel a bit bad tonight is to hear you admit that i had a chance but now i dont when i was already convinced that i didnt
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
even then, i would have refused to be with you if you came back because no one can mature so much in 3 months
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:51 AM):
good u know
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
yup
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
so i dashed my hopes already for this summer
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
instead i turned my sights further
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
kinda
Aziraphale says (5:51 AM):
there's a song i used to like
Aziraphale says (5:52 AM):
"it doesnt matter how many came before, just as long as i'm the last"
Aziraphale says (5:52 AM):
by bread
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:52 AM):
haha wow
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:52 AM):
i just heard that today
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
that smildly cool
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
so yes cheryl..
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
i love you still, unfortunately
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
and yes, i still believe we will be able to like out a wonderful life together
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
BUT
Aziraphale says (5:53 AM):
not now, if ever
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:54 AM):
ok i'm falling asleep already
Aziraphale says (5:54 AM):
cheryl
Aziraphale says (5:54 AM):
when i say dont burn our bridges
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:54 AM):
m?
Aziraphale says (5:54 AM):
i mean in the future..
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:54 AM):
we're just friends
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:55 AM):
and only that.
Aziraphale says (5:55 AM):
havent we always been =P
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:55 AM):
i'm going to go to yix now ok?
Aziraphale says (5:55 AM):
??
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:55 AM):
not physically now
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:56 AM):
it's 6am!
Aziraphale says (5:56 AM):
er..yeah
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:56 AM):
yeah
Aziraphale says (5:56 AM):
sigh..
Aziraphale says (5:57 AM):
please keep your heart a bit open to me ...
Aziraphale says (5:57 AM):
dont answer
Aziraphale says (5:57 AM):
good night
Aziraphale says (5:57 AM):
both to bed
Aziraphale says (5:57 AM):
sweet dreams
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:57 AM):
you know when i choose to give myself to someone i will give my all
.: ck :. has no hp says (5:59 AM):
so once more i tell you (even though u just ran offline), you're over, we're over
.: ck :. has no hp says (6:00 AM):
and i'm telling u straight out that i'm going to go to yix so that you won't hold anymore delusions or 2nd guesses.
.: ck :. has no hp says (6:01 AM):
good night.
5:51 PM