Thursday, April 28, 2005
Wow i drove an auto car for the first time EVER today!! It's so utterly different from manual and i LOVE it! For once, I was actually able to see where I was going, notice my surroundings, watch the people and carried out a pleasant conversation with my instrutor... =) That in itself was amazing as, (1) I never notice where i'm going; (2) I'm far too busy concentrating on driving and following instructions without taking out the general population around me and (3) this was the most closed-mouthed of all my instrutors and i discovered he's a very genial and pleasant conversationalist!! Whew! After tonight, i realize just how much stress i am under everytime i drive manual... haha. That's it. I HAVE to pass my driving first time round so i can have fun driving in mummy's car!! hehheh...
I also had a chance to partake in one of my more interesting hobbies: people-watching. It's fascinating really, sitting back and observing Life swirling all around you... What are they saying behind those glass windows? A mother scolding her child? perhaps... A husband getting to know his wife? perhaps... Or maybe a single, contemplating on the lonesome solitude within the quietly whirring metal contraption of a car...... I can't help wondering, who are they? What has Life doled out for them and where are they heading this lightly drizzling night? Will i ever know if i meet you again? Singapore's only so big after all and our lives shall inevitably brush - once, twice - serendipitious strangers in the oh-so-shortsighted eyes of men. To me it's like a window into another's life, this brief glimpse that is all we're allowed to see. It's almost like a dream, where an image flashes through your mind, provoking thoughts and feelings uncontrolled; a forbidden snapshot that disintegrates within seconds, leaving strange fragments of memory behind. It's seems tantamount to an invasion of privacy... akin to spying, uninvited, on someone unawares. I mean, i know i'd feel uncomfortable and indignant if some stranger were to simply watch me with his brain let loose, his imagination colouring the pattern of my life with a Story made-believed by his shortlived impressioni of me alone... Won't you??
Still, it is unavoidable... To herd is to be human. If we were to strip humans of our so-called 'humanity' and reduce us to animals living in the wild, herding is the only way we could possibly stay alive, our strength in our exponentially increasing numbers. So inject back our humanity and pour in a dose of intelligence, we would naturally be curious about the millions of other 'pack-mates' with whom we co-exist. So we think of the world and the numerous shadowy people first, homo sapiens and bearers of the same species. Shrink that a little and you get race; which part of the world do you come from? Are you Asian or Caucasion or something else? Shrink that somemore and the faces become less vague, identifiable by country and ethnicity. More, and we wonder about those whom we meet in everday life... Touch and go, touch and go... literally. Then come the people we are closer to. No longer formless and vague but certain beings with their own lives that intertwine with ours for a time. Lastly, we become seperated by geneology and ancestry, where blood is ever thicker than water. Family: the sure fixtures in our everyday lives...
So I wonder and I dream, I imagine and I speculate. Yes, i have no right to do so; No, i cannot help but to do so. The world is convoluted and people make it more so. Time is a mystery and people try to make it less so. Life is what binds us all together, and people are what make it so.
11:59 PM