Sunday, April 24, 2005

"Oh dear," says my heart, "there goes another one..." :(

Another guy who doesn't touch my heart, another guy who doesn't create sparks... Another sweet, cute, sexy man who's made for someone else..... When will I find my heart?

Hold me in your arms and touch me inside, gather up my pieces and put us together, talk into the night and whisper to my soul, entwine our spirits and keep me warm. I need you... where are you?

God has a plan for me, I know; but if my soulmate's in it, I don't know. It's so painful, watching love walk away... I only just realized how much I wanted it to stay; how much i was waiting, hoping, yearning, needing... for my love. And there are no sparks, no warmth nor laughter.. And my heart twists, my soul clenches, saying, he is not the one.

Not for me, never for me.

I know i don't like like him now and it has left me utterly deflated all of a sudden, after my hoping, yearning, thinking, wondering - happily - perhaps this is he, perhaps i've finally found him!, only to be let down... no, it is not. And the tentative reaching out of my spirit, the secret blooming of joy, withers and falls short... no, it is not.

So i continue to wait... Bruised and lonely once more. Empty of feeling, drained of hope. But i can't stop waiting. No matter how much my feelings cry out, no, no more, please, i can't take it anymore!, my heart continues to yearn. I am incomplete but it is for a reason... Please God, don't let me be alone always! For I can only take so much.. Each time Love passes but leaves me be, I die a little and huddle miserably inside. And little by little, i shall wound, scar and wither, until there is no more and i have lost all love, all hope, all sweetness and joy...

So please... don't let me be alone.

For You know the paths You have planned for me, and i shall follow You in sincerity and trust.

Love me please...

And i wait.

11:17 PM

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Cheryl Kong

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