Wednesday, January 21, 2004
There's something wrong with my life... somewhere. I don't know anything anymore. I've no time to do anything...meaningful anymore. What's the point of studying? I've been mugging my SATS so hard that i've lost sight of my goal.
So why am i studying for SATS?
-so i can score full marks for the exam-
Oh really? but why do i want to score full marks in the exam??
-so i can get into a good US uni... maybe Harvard-
Wow... but whatever for?
-pardon me?-
Like why go Harvard? Or even uni for that matter...??
-so i can do well of course! and get a good job-
oh....... then what will you do?
-work hard, duh-
I mean, what will you do after finishing the course of your work?
-umm.................... good question. retire?-
And do what?
-wellllllll... whatever i want to do i suppose :p -
That's good to know... then?
-then what?-
Then what will you do after..... everything?
-rest. die. pass away. kick the bucket. whatever u want to call it~-
So what's the point???
LIVING.
Living's the point.
However long we stay here, on this earth, in this dimension and plane, it doesn't matter. Oh sure, some of us do things in the course of that time that shapes the future for all... Like Thomas Edison n the lightbulb. Like the smart chaps who made up the computer and the internet. Things change, times change, we change... But if we follow that reasoning, then all it seems our life is for is to interact with the lives of others and (try) to leave something worthwhile to posterity. Then what do they do...? Ans: The exact same thing! So therein lies the problem - the neverending, ever-truding, constant, continuous, unchanging process that is unique onto itself. (and as we all know i'm sure, the only thing that is unchanging is Change itself =P)
SO?
Well, i have no answer to that.. :P i suppose life is what we make it out to be. we can go on and on and on trying to find meaningless answers to what life is, or we can accept that, hey! we're here, this is my life and i shall live it~!! (not satisfied? well bully for you! that's all i've got~ ;)
We live what we all get: a lifetime. no more, no less... You've got a lifetime, do what you will with it.
"So every life, being a lifetime, is brief. And every life, being brief, is equal." (Peter Straub)
That is why our lives should be treasured, embraced and nurtured; for anything of brief duration (and all duration is brief) is valuable and to be valued, reluctantly surrendered.
What does it mean, that "there is no such thing as a one-sided coin"?
Wisdom is a matter of recognizing that nothing stands still, that everything is hurtling towards its own conclusion. Wisdom is the celebration and the memorialization of the temporal. (So wisdom consists of the ability to observe, "This is a beautiful day.")
~ concepts from The Sandman VII: Brief Lives by Neil Gaiman
{read the sandman. it's awesome.}
This is my life.
What's yours?
2:37 PM