Thursday, January 22, 2004
I can't stop thinking about him... the man on the motorcycle. the man in the accident. the man....
we were driving along, this new year's day, to uncle jame's house (the one with the dog called Baby). suddenly, there was a man lying face down on the road in front of the car and there was blood pooling beneath his motionless head. Godma screamed at Godpa to pullover to the next lane, "Dave! DAVE! Pull over to the next lane, hurry... Will you HURRY up?? You're going to run over him, DAVE!!" There was a horrible crunching sound and for one, excruciating moment, i thought Godpa had crushed the man's arm.
"See lah! You broke his helmet...!" Godma's words broke the rushing in my head. My heart slowed it's frantic pace.. marginally. Godpa finally parked the car right in front of the victim, just behind my parents' car and in front of that, a taxi.
My heart still pouding, i stared through the back window, unable to stop myself. With morbid curiousity, i watched the hapless man. He had turned over slightly and i could see part of his face. It was covered with blood... One of his arms was flung out and the other lay across his chest. I watched his thigh muscles shiver and jerk violently, his body going into convulsions and shock. People were surrounding him now... Men, all of them. Papa, Godpa, the taxi driver's passenger, the taxi driver himself. I asked Godma if i could go out but she rejected my plea and i didn't press the issue. Honestly, i was frightened, scared and helpless. What could i do? They had called the ambulance, the EMAS van had just arrived to block the traffic on that side and put up the warning cones thinggy and the adult males were surrounding the man, trying to revive him and help him... What could i do???
Godma got out of the car, gave the milling group a box of tissue and an umbrella to shade the poor fellow and still, i watched, riveted. The man was awake now, i could see. He tried to get up and was helped to the side of the road, to sit on the pavement. There was a large gash above his eye, from which the blood still flowed; and blood coming out of his nostrils and out of his mouth. Blood, everywhere. There were lacerations on his arms and knees (even though he was wearing jeans: they were torn, as was his shirt). His eyes didn't seem to be working properly for they kept rolling back, showing the white. The people tried to keep him awake... I could see them talking to him even though i couldn't hear a sound. It was like a strange, silent, horror movie of the 20's, with Godma speaking in the background, leanne beside me plaintatively saying she was hot, shaan not making a sound and delia behind me, tears leaking from her eyes as she too, watched with dread.
Soon, the men came back. Papa went back to his car and Godpa came back to ours. The taxi driver and his passenger hung around, looking awkward. Only the two EMAS ppl were beside the man, whose head was lolling and whose body tried to curl in on itself, arm clutched tight, even though he was sitting up...... The ambulance hadn't arrived yet but Godpa started the car as papa had already moved off. Our vehicle started to move and still i watched fixedly out of the back window. Watched, as we moved further from the unknown man and his unfortunate accident. Watched, as we moved out of his life.
It was only when a few cars blocked off my view and Godma asked if we were alright that i turned from my twisted position to settle back in my seat. Leanne was gazing up at me, accusation and consternation blatant in her eyes. "Yes, i'm alright", i answered. "NO!" said that voice in my head. "Why are we leaving? What's going to happen to him??? How can we just leave like this without knowing if he'd be alright?!??!! STOP!!!!!" But leanne was still looking at me and i smiled wanly, ignoring the voices. "It's all your fault," she said. Huh?? "It's all your fault that i'm hot 'cause you didn't want the aircon just now..."
Oh. i thought.
oh.........
11:14 PM