Tuesday, December 23, 2003
bittersweet... a mixture of pain and pleasure.
i woke up feeling... lost and confused.. did i reveal too much?? or too little...? did i read too much into what he said or does he reallllyyyy like me??? did he just say it so in future he won't regret not having asked or did he really mean it?
"They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love."
Insecurity shall ever be my burden. One that weighs heaviest when it comes to matters of the heart.. Everytime i had given my heart before, only to take it back, shattered. painfully, painstakingly picking up the pieces and mending them back together again into a whole. Hardening and reinforcing it as i go so it won't break so easily the next time... Only now, it has become such that whenever i come to a crossroads with a path that requires me to give my heart, all my heart, i would stand there, pained and undecided, or go down the other path, heartsick, but safe.
"There is tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries; on such a full sea we are now afloat; and we must take the current the clouds folding and unfolding beyond the horizon. when it serves, or lose our ventures." William Shakespeare [Julius Caesar]
i am afraid. frightened... scared. I know sometimes we have to let go.. and take hold of opportunities with both hands before they pass us by. Carpe dium, seize the day. Yet, when do we let go and when do we hold on?? How do we know, to gamble our fortunes when the risk is blind and the stakes unset? HOW?!?!?
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we might win, by fearing to attempt." William Shakespeare [Measure For Measure]
:(
8:53 AM