Sunday, August 03, 2003
there are so many people i'm worried about! so many things chafing my mind that i can't think straight!
1) sea sports club: what's happening to us? what's happened to all that togetherness and bonding we shared that i was so proud of?? so many people not turning up for training, leaving before training's over... we have become so turned in, so focused on training up our own skills that we neglect our team-mates, paddling within our own little world. i hope we won't turn out like sp... now our game-playing sucks... we don't cooperate, don't listen each other nor communicate... all we do is rush in and try to score :( :( :(
canoepolo competitions... instead of getting better, our trainings have become progressively worse! maybe physically it has been tougher, but the spirit is not there! and spirit, in my opinion, is the most important factor of all!! WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!
2) cheng: he's been sick lately... and stressed.. beleagured on all sides it seems. and i'm so sorry we added to his agonizing burden. how can i help...? please be okay...!! :'(
3) jun ping & dao jia: they've been stressed too... i suppose i can't begin imagine the massive pressure he's under in training for his expedition to myanmar, not to mention coping with pc business on top of it. And dj, the youngest of the three, able to maintain his ever-cheerful appearance but for the strain within glinting occasionally from his eyes.
4) ee sang: everything. her. our friendship. her well-being. her stress.. coping or hiding?
5) cheryl lim: what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong...?????????????? is it ssc for her too??? the wall around her is built so high we can't touch her, the moat so deep there seems no way to cross... she just stood there yesterday, her hands clasped together and head bowed, her posture a painting of frustration and bleakness. i want to reach out but i know not how!
6) li and cf: both of whom i haven't heard from for sometime... i worry bcoz i don't know what's happening to them :(
the list goes on... but these are the foremost on my mind. i want them to be okay!!!!! i want EVERYTHING to be okay!!!
Lord, carry us through these trials and tribulations, holds us in your arms and comfort us, Father. Lift the anxiety and oppression in our hearts and bring us peace Lord God... Bring us together in Your healing love.... Amen..
pain. anguish. distress.
somebody asked if my blog has become more 'censored' after people started reading it... the answer is yes.
i don't write down my innermost thoughts anymore... feelings yes/maybe. thoughts no.
i used to use this as a kind of 'sounding board' to help me sort out what's troubling me... can't do it no more i suppose :P
maybe i should get another blog just for that...
but that'll be stupid coz i won't write in here anymore.. sighs. nevermind :p
10:30 PM