Thursday, July 24, 2003

i just got off the phone with li... she was crying dammit! why am i not there?! why am i not by her side when she needs me most???!?!! what kind of CRAP 'best friend' am i supposed to be when i can't even COMFORT my best friend when she's hurting inside????????? shitshitshitshitshit.........! I want to be with li right now!!!! vj lost to ac in syf. syf comes once every two years so this was her ONLY chance, the only thing that mattered to choir/her. blast it! she sounded terrible over the phone, weeping and devastated. i can't bear it when she cries, every tear a pool of sadness and pain falling from her eyes rips a part of me into itsy-bitsy pieces and burns it in a torturous flame... i couldn't help, i couldn't comfort her!! i hate not being able to comfort ppl!!!! and i'm never able to! what am i good for? NOTHING! it pains me.....! maybe i wouldn't have done any better were i there, but i don't think i'm too egoist in saying my presence at least counts for something!!?

YEAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams in anguish*

please God, please please please be with li right now and hold her in Your arms.. Let her feel Your presence and be comforted Lord Father!


O more then Moone,
Draw not up seas to drowne me in thy spheare,
Weepe me not dead, in thine armes, but forbeare
To teach the sea, what it may doe too soone;
Let not the winde
Example finde,
To doe me more harme, then it purposeth;
Since thou and I sigh one anothers breath,
Who e'r sighes most, is cruellest, and hasts the others death.

- (excerpt from) A Valediction : of weeping , John Donne

10:41 PM

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Cheryl Kong

SNGPS/RGS/RJC/SMU/UVA

~*dancer*lover*dreamer*~



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