Monday, July 07, 2003
The girl ran.
Her breathing was laboured and sweat soaked her ragged clothing, matting it uncomfortably to her body. Still she ran unceasingly, driven by her fear.
She ran... And became heavier. Chains of Desolation draped ruthlessly on her shoulders while Despair wrapped mercilessly around her chest, dragging awkwardly on the ground. Careless of the uneven footing, the overcast sky gave little with which to light her way, casting a shadow of gloom over the land, over her heart.
She stumbled... And the scions of Doubt laughed cruelly, darting vindictively between her legs, tugging and pulling spitefully at them.
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear
Of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light
[CHORUS:]
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters
Calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
[Chorus]
If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay a while
Though you may not remember dreaming
Something waits for you to breathe again
[Chorus]
She struggled to fill her lungs with the thin, harsh air, breathing in ragged gasps. Her muscles strained with exertion as she continued to run, staggering wearily over the rocky ground, carrying the writhing weight of her burdens.
Her world dimmed further and terror surged within her as she caught the sound of the Hounds of Hell baying hungrily behind her.
They had caught her scent.
Desperation lent a short burst of speed to her numbed legs, but even that abandoned her as she careened painfully down a slope, the rocks of Misery and shards of Malice biting deep within her. Her eyes swept the empty landscape and the last ember of hope died within her.
No help was forthcoming.
catch me as i fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
i'm frightened by what i see
but somehow i know that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
i can stop the pain if i will it all away
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me i fear
she beckons me shall i give in
upon my end shall i begin
forsaking all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end
Tears of anger, of lost hope and of fear, streaked layers of grime from her face as she stumbled to her feet. Little by little, link by aching link, she unwound the chains from her body and discarded them, but could do nothing for the gnawing of her soul. She stood and squared her shoulders, listening the the terrible bloodthirst baying of Hell's Hounds with the calm surety of one already dead.
She waited.
And despaired.
tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
i lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
10:58 PM