Saturday, June 07, 2003
today was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *beeg bEeG joyful happy excited cheery BEAM* :D :D :D yahaha, n paul khoo treated our class (ten of us aniwae) to Bowling for Columbine... it was quite a good show, funny and thought provoking, i'd advise anyone to watch it :) i used to like charlton heston before watching this though, but now i don't really.. not quite aniwae :P bleah, i can't believe he's part of that.. what's it called? NRA?? pRoMoTinG the use of arms... :( :( what an idiot. :(
yeah, found ee sang aft e movie coz she was at far east with a few of her ex-classmates. she's really easy to get along with :) probably my best friend in RJ i'd say -sMilEz- but... we were talking abt cf. a bit of a problem there which i sorta noticed over the past few days. was waiting for her to tell me and now she has :P they don't really talk anymore aft cf got his communist lookin glasses n started to be 'studious'. he seems to have "shut off" were her words, and i believe she's right... he suddenly just... stopped. hmm... not sure what to make of it... part of me thinks tt it's coz he really HAS decided to be muggy n he knows they're getting closer but he doesn't want tt coz he wants to concentrate on his studies... another part of me thinks he's stopped trying. like tt period of time he was always with her was a sort of 'trial' to see if their relationship could go deeper but he doesn't want to anymore. is it becoz he doesn't want her? or he doesn't want to get involved? or he feels tt their relationship will never work out?? it's kinda like what i'm doing with genius now i supposed... giving him a chance, or us a chance :P i won't shut off like him if i come to the same(?) kind of conclusion anyway... he's dem bossy, no EQ whatsoever :P
whatever it is, i know she thinks of him as more than a friend, even though she won't admit to truely LiKinG him yet... but missing a guy when he's not around kinda hints at smthing u noe? ;) SO. basically, she's hurt abt his 'shutting off' and she's reacting in that okay-fine-whatever-if-u-dun-talk-to-mi-den-i-won't-talk-to-u-either manner. which she would not have if she only liked him as a friend, albeit a good one :P soooo, since she's hurt n not making e effort to talk to him either, he's hurt coz he feels she shouldn't be [over]reacting like this coz they ARE friends after all, no matter... and it's a viscious cycle. one that can only be broken out of if cf opens up a little, lets us know what he's thinking and at least explains why he 'shut off' in the first place, though i'm not sure if he did it deliberately or not.
haiz, he's such a stone... he HAS been hurt before though, gone thru a lot of problems in his "crap j1 year" and he's built strong walls around himself :( :( i wish we could break through to him... he's my friend too you know and i still care for him. wish i/we could help him =\
How can you see into my eyes Like open doors
Leading you down into my core Where I become so numb
Without a soul My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there And lead it back home
~ Evanescence
1:10 AM