Friday, December 12, 2008
Almost a year later, and it's back to the same old rant... What's so wrong with me that I can't be loved??
broken
smashed
wretched
8:51 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Thanks to the words you spoke, it gave me peace of mind - it gave me hope.
"Fate, tell me its right, is this love at first sight?"
Which do you like? (and I still don't get the point of holes in the sunglasses....) :P
10:04 AM
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Slip inside, the eye of your mind,
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play.
You said that you've never been,
But all the things that you've seen
Slowly fade away...
So I start a revolution from my bed,
Cos you said the brains I had went to my head.
Step outside, the summertime's in bloom
Step up beside the fireplace,
Take that look from off your face,
Cos you ain't ever gonna burn my heart ouuuttttt....
So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as she's walking on by.
Her soul slides away, "but don't look back in anger"
I heard you say.
Reading back on my previous post, I'm so thankful, Lord, that You brought Wil here... He pulled me back together, made me laugh and smile, and he brought such a bright ray of happiness into my life!
But he's not mine. In fact, he's in New York now with his girl... but he was mine for awhile and I'm missing him, I'm missing him so bad that I can't concentrate. I went to his blog, and went to Shu Hui's blog. Looking at all the pictures of them together, I see his adorable smile and all I can think is "that's my Wil-Wil". So he stitched me back together, but he kind of needs to be there to hold the strings tight. He's not though, and I'm struggling not to let them unravel. It's strange how everyone knows how close we are, yet NO ONE knows how close we are. How could we have fallen for each other? This wasn't supposed to happen at all.
I love you, and I need you - but this is messed up, you know? You're being unfair to both of us, and to yourself. Maybe you think you're doing the right thing, but maybe you should think again.
7:37 AM
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Why am I striving so hard in life? What is there to strive for???
I'm tired of everything. Life has no more meaning for me. God is throwing all this at me because he knows I won't ever kill myself. But I just want it to stop... I want everything to stop. When was the last time I was truly happy? I don't know. I'm alone, I am forsaken - there's something wrong with me.
What is so wrong with me that someone who has the capacity to love just doesn't want to love me? Am I so fat, ugly, boring, stupid, inconsequential that I just can't be loved? I don't understand... I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!! I have no one; I am no one; I am nothing.
What did I do wrong? Everything, everything is just so wrong.
12:59 AM
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The zing that got us together is still there... Our gazes caught for but a split second and there was that undeniable attraction in his eyes.
And I know he felt it too.
Dear Lord Father, I still need Your help so much... There's so much going on! Watch over all of us as we go to Tanzania. Let me spread Your love and Your light to the people. In Jesus's most precious name I pray, amen.
2:26 PM
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I am so tired... I can feel myself losing steam but I can't afford to!! *needs a hug*
Dear Lord, please give me strength, motivation and enthusiasm in what I do. Watch over my family and siblings as well. Amen.
4:34 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Praise God :)
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
~ Psalms 27:14
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake the.
~ Isaiah 42:16
Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
~ Matthew 6:8
12:24 PM